When you’re dealt a bad hand in life, perhaps with a difficult childhood or losing a parent early on, it’s easy to give up hope and think your fate is sealed. But as today’s guest will tell you, we all have a choice, even in the darkest of times. We can choose to let life’s challenges keep us down, or we can choose to find a way to lift ourselves up, overcome and thrive.
Susie Moore is the author of Let It Be Easy and Stop Checking Your Likes and also hosts the top-rated podcast, Let it Be Easy. She’s a sought-after expert for media outlets and has been featured on the Today Show, Good Morning America, Oprah and in Forbes, The Wall Street Journal, Cosmopolitan, and more.
In today’s conversation, we dig into how to unleash your superpower by choosing how you feel. When you’re feeling stressed or depressed, you can wallow in negativity or take action to make the changes that will improve your life and achieve your biggest goals.
- You create your own reality. If you believe the world is full of opportunities, you’ll find them.
- We all have so much to be grateful for if we take the time to realize it.
- How Susie’s difficult childhood was actually a gift to fuel her ambition to succeed.
- When we’ve decided that we’re stuck, that’s where the real suffering begins.
- We always have options. We can choose to be depressed or to choose the opposite feeling of gratitude or happiness.
- The person who wins is the person who enjoys life to the fullest.
THIS EPISODE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY:
Organifi makes the highest quality nutritional products, which are made from whole food ingredients (not synthetic vitamins) that I enjoy nearly every day, and have for many years. Visit Organifi.com/Hal, and use the code HAL at checkout to get 20% off of your entire order. I hope you find something there that you love! :^)
Rise by CURED Nutrition is a natural supplement made from CBD, Lions Mane and Ginseng (among others) that helps boost energy, performance and cognitive function. There’s no caffeine, no jitters and most importantly, no crash. Visit CuredNutrition.com/Hal and receive 20% off of your entire order. They have tons of other products as well, hopefully you’ll find something that works for you. :^)
- Susie Moore’s Homepage
- Susie Moore on Instagram | YouTube | LinkedIn | Twitter
- Let It Be Easy Podcast
- Let It Be Easy: Simple Ways to Stop Stressing & Start Living by Susie Moore
- Stop Checking Your Likes: Shake Off the Need for Approval and Live an Incredible Life by Susie Moore
- Cathy Heller
- Byron Katie
- Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life by Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell
- Abraham Hicks
- Michael Singer
- The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer
- Living Untethered: Beyond the Human Predicament by Michael A Singer
CONNECT WITH US
RATE & REVIEW THE PODCAST
Reviews for the podcast on iTunes are greatly appreciated and will allow us to get the word out about the show and grow as a community. We read every single review and believe each one goes a long way in helping us make the show even better! If you received value from this episode, please take a moment and rate and review the podcast by clicking here.
Copyright © 2023 Miracle Morning, LP and International Literary Properties LLC
Hal Elrod: Hello, friends. Welcome to the Achieve Your Goals Podcast. This is your host, Hal Elrod. And today we are talking about what may be the ultimate superpower, choosing how you feel in any given moment. And today you’re going to discover your power to choose how you feel with Susie Moore. Susie is becoming a dear friend. We only met in March of this year, so about six months ago, maybe less than that. And if you’re not familiar, she is a world-renowned life coach. Susie Moore is an author. She is the host of the top-rated Apple podcast, Let it Be Easy. And she’s a sought-after expert for media outlets and has been featured on the Today Show, Good Morning America, Dr. Oz, Business Insider, Forbes, Oprah, The Wall Street Journal, Cosmopolitan, and Marie Claire. That’s just the shortlist. And in addition, she’s the resident life coach for Greatist, the world’s leading health and wellness site for millennials and the author of Let It Be Easy and Stop Checking Your Likes.
Now, you’re going to hear today’s Susie story was not always like that. She grew up in the UK in a very chaotic and abusive environment, dysfunctional family. Her father was a drug addict who died when she was 19 years old. She lived on welfare and she always dreamed of creating a better life for herself. And she did. By age 30, she was earning half a million dollars a year working in Silicon Valley. And as I mentioned earlier, now she is a world-renowned life coach, author, and host of the top-rated Apple podcast, Let it Be Easy, which I encourage you to listen to the new daily episodes like 5 to 10 minutes a day to inspire you to shift your thinking, which is what she’s going to help you do today. I love this conversation. I think you’re going to love it, too. In fact, I almost could say I know you’re going to love it, too, because Susie just she’s light, she’s love. She brings such a positive perspective that you can immediately apply to your life situation so that you can improve how you feel and let your life that can often feel difficult, let it be easy. And it’s all in how you look at it.
Before we dive in, I want to take just a minute to thank our two sponsors. First and foremost, Organifi, that makes some of the highest quality organic whole food supplements in powder form. You can tear open a packet, as I did about an hour ago, of their Pure, which helps with cognitive ability. And then I’ll also have a smoothie here in a few minutes, which I use their organic vanilla protein powder and they have products to help you with sleep, weight management, you name it, head over to Organifi.com/Hal that is spelled O-R-G-A-N-I-F-I with two Is dot com forward slash Hal and use the discount code HAL, my name, for 20% off your entire order. And again, if you want quick and easy ways to boost your health, that’s what Organifi does arguably better than anybody.
And then last but not least, I want to thank our sponsor, CURED Nutrition, who very similar to Organifi, they’re like cousins, if you will. They make high-quality, mostly organic supplements using CBD oil and then for the evening time, I love their Nightcaps, CBD and CBN oil to help you fall asleep and stay asleep. I literally take them every single night, including when I travel and I highly recommend. If you want help with sleep, they’re a great supplement to help you do that. And CURED Nutrition also has supplements for your gut health. One it’s called Aura that I take after my smoothie. Another one called Rise that’s a nootropic to help you with your mental focus and clarity. There’s a lot of other great products at CUREDNutrition.com/Hal. Again that’s CUREDNutrition.com/Hal and use that same discount code, HAL, my name, for 20% off your entire order as a listener of the Achieve Your Goals podcast.
All right. Without further ado, it is my great pleasure to introduce you to my good friend, who I just love dearly and I think you will too, the one and only, Susie Moore.
Hal Elrod: All right. Susie Moore, welcome.
Susie Moore: Hal Elrod, you are such a joy. I am thrilled to be on your show. Thank you so much for having me.
Hal Elrod: Yeah. In full transparency, this is take two because we were about a minute and a half into our conversation and my computer is like, “This is not recording. Start over again, yadda, yadda, yadda.” But it’s all for a reason. So, let’s try to get back to what you’re talking about. Number one is we wanted to start by acknowledging and thanking Cathy Heller, our mutual friend that introduced us.
Susie Moore: Yes.
Hal Elrod: I’m just going to read. I was texting her this morning and you said you were texting her, too. So, that’s kind of funny. I was just texting saying, “I’m going to be having Susie on the show finally.” I think you and I have had a few reschedules. Here’s what she texted me. This was on March 2nd when I was first on your show. She said, “Susie loves you so much. She sent me a text about you, too. You guys are sunshine. She is a beautiful soul. She’s met other friends of mine and she’s never texted me the way she wrote to me about you. She’s one of my closest friends because she’s so real and special.” So, that says a lot about you.
Susie Moore: And you.
Hal Elrod: And me and Cathy, right? Like, all three of us. I was like, Cathy should be here, right? Like, she’s here in spirit, for sure. But you were saying something. You were sharing some wisdom, a gym, and then we ended up getting cut off but you were talking about the universe being so generous. And then I responded by saying I think it’s our belief or your belief specifically that makes it so. If you believe the universe is out to get you, then it is, right? Because you really create your own reality and that is your expertise is around this topic of how to make life easy, how to perceive life in a way that allows you to let go of stress, experience more joy. And so, back to you, talk about what you were sharing with me earlier.
Susie Moore: Yes. When you say, “When you believe it is, it is so,” we hear this a lot in self-help. And I think that a lot of people think that it’s very woo-woo, right? They’re like, “Oh, I’ll just believe that I’m this. I’ll just believe that I’m that.” And I mean, people have mixed opinions about it but the way that I think about it is it’s actually very practical. I think about, Hal, if I think that the universe is generous and safe and full of opportunities and kind people, then I’m probably more likely to go out and meet more people. I’m more likely to show up where new people are. I’m more likely to trust others, take a risk, put myself out there in new ways. And we know that our actions create our results. So, if my actions are being driven by possibility thinking and by coming from an expansive place, then that translates very practically speaking into real life. The same way people joke, you know, “The more I work, the more I’m creative, the luckier I get, the more money I make.” It’s not just, “Oh, I believe it.” It’s like I’m thinking about possibility here. And so, that’s going to drive me to take more action. And the action itself then becomes more effortless because you’re not hustling and sweating. You’re just like, “Oh, well, this is how it is. So, this is a next natural action for me.”
Hal Elrod: Yeah. It’s so well said. And in some ways, it’s so simple but I feel like very few of us maintain that realization that our perspective determines our quality of life, at the end of the day. And that life’s as good or as bad. It’s like I think it was Henry Ford, right? If you believe you can or you believe you can’t, you’re right either way. If you believe life’s terrible or you believe life’s amazing, you’re right either way. I text this to my daughter the other day. I mentioned to you, she’s 13 going on 20 and for a long time, she’s really been looking for a best friend, someone that she could really count on. She feels like she’s had friends that she was there for and then they weren’t there for her or this and that. And really she’s been longing for that. She’s also been longing for like a big sister figure. And we had someone in her life that like thought she was going to be that and then kind of abandoned her. And so, my daughter was really heartbroken over that.
And then she developed some abandonment issues when I got sick, which the other day, her and I just talked about this. She was seven years old and thinking her parents were invincible and then all of a sudden, “Oh, my gosh, dad’s lost all his hair on his body, he’s lost weight, he looks sick and he might die.” And she talked about for the first time ever how that created trauma. But anyway, here’s the point, exactly to what you said. I just pointed out to her, I said, “Sweetheart, I want…” and I actually sent it in a text so she’d have a record of it. I said, “I want you to think about how amazing your life is right now. I know there’s a million things that you think about that stress you out or worry you or this or that. You were in school and on and on.” I go, “You have the best friend you’ve always longed for. You have the big sister in your life that you’ve always longed for. You have a mom and dad who absolutely love you and adore you. You are pursuing your passion in theater, right?” I’m like, “How amazing is your life?” And it just goes because she’s a typical teenager that’s kind of morose very often like, “Oh, blah, blah.”
Like, she has the typical teenager mindset and it’s like just making her realize that, “Wow. You are so blessed.” And she was like, “Dad, oh my gosh, I didn’t realize how you’re right. I am so blessed. Thank you so much for pointing it out.” And so, if you’re listening right now to this, please let Susie’s words sink in, especially I’m going to shut up here in a second. Let her keep talking but really, to really apply this to how blessed we all are, if you’re alive, you have so much to be grateful for. Susie, you wrote the book, Let it Be Easy. How can people let this what is often a very stressful life, how can that become easier for people?
Susie Moore: One thing that I’ve realized, Hal, along the way is that nothing outside of us has to change in order for us to have a completely different life experience. All right. Like you just shared the text message exchange with your daughter, your very open dialog with her as a father, which is so wonderful. Like, truly just listening to it makes me feel warm for your family. When your daughter just has that context, which in her mind, right, of like, “I don’t have this, I don’t have that,” to, “I’ve got my mom, my dad, my theater. I have everything,” what outside of her changed?
Hal Elrod: Yeah. Nothing.
Susie Moore: Did something arrive? Did she get a big package saying, “Here’s everything?” Nothing actually changes. And what I’ve noticed is that the reason that we suffer so much, we feel so much stress is because we think that certain things need to be in place. People need to change. That’s a big one. We think that things need to be different on the outside and we think that that’s where the magic is, right, or that’s where the power is. And if you put two people in any situation, say an unwanted situation or an undesirable situation, the person who’s like, “This sucks,” versus, “Okay. What now? I’m a resourceful person. I’m going to figure things out,” you’ll have completely different experiences. And, number one, you’re going to have more fun in the process but also when we’re stressed out or when we’re really leaning into what can’t be done, our brain can’t think of options. The person in any situation who acknowledges their options, he realizes that there’s always a minimum of three in any situation and minimum of three to really think about it. You start to realize how actually powerful you are.
So, for example, if you hate your job, sometimes you’re like, “Well, I’m stuck with it. The market’s bad. This is my fate.” Well, think about what your options are like, number one, is that even true? We assume things are just true and fix and there is so much more flexibility often than we realize but we’re not even connecting to that part of ourselves. Maybe your job actually could be improved somehow, too. Could you make a lateral move? Could you make some cool connections at work that maybe open up some new opportunities for you? Could you have a conversation with somebody at work? Like, could you even go, “You know what? I don’t like it but I only have to stick it out for one more year and then I can do something else.” And then you can even have a temporary mindset with it. What are your options? When we let things get really hot in our lives, often we’re shutting down, we’re not seeing the full possibility, and we’re really limiting ourselves. And we don’t intend to do this, right? We think that we’re being responsible. We think that this is reality. But I think that when an expectation isn’t met or we think something outside of us has to be different, there’s a lot of unnecessary suffering and we’re missing out on a whole lot of joy.
Hal Elrod: Yeah. No, you’re so right. I want to dive really deep into that but I want to take a step back and talk about kind of you, your background. And here’s where I want to go with this is that I know you grew up in a chaotic environment. And now you’re a world-renowned life coach, but not just any world-renowned life coach like you’ve been on Oprah, Today’s Show, right? Like, there’s a lot of life coaches out there. I was a life coach back in the day but you’ve really taken it to another level with books, sharing, your coaching. You know, you have multiple books, your top-rated podcast. And so, I want to kind of understand your journey from what was childhood like. Where did you grow up? What was that like? And then how did you evolve into who you are today? And this very literally light, L-I-G-H-T, you’re a light. You bring light to people’s lives. And how did you go from what was it like growing up and how did you get to where you are today?
Susie Moore: Yes. Well, I, Hal, had the gift of an early struggle. So, I think that those of us who have maybe parents or a situation growing up that maybe it wouldn’t be what you’d choose, like if you could have your selection of what will my childhood be like? Yes. So, I grew up in the U.K. My father was addicted to drugs and alcohol. He died when I was 19 from addiction.
Hal Elrod: Wow.
Susie Moore: Yeah, because there was so much chaos in my family. We lived in various domestic violence shelters. We were constantly moving. I went to over like 25 schools. It was a lot of change, no stability. And anyone who’s grown up in an environment like that, you kind of live on high alert. Like, you’re kind of like waiting for something bad to happen or even if there’s like a calm or an ease in your life, you’re like, “Well, this can’t last.” It’s just something that’s programmed into you and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean that there’s something we can do about it but it’s something that can happen. And I knew even when I was really young, so like when you live on welfare, when you’re living on wearing clothes from donation boxes, from the church, from the schools that we went to, I had a very big desire. That gave birth to a huge, huge desire within me to be successful, to have a healthy marriage, to have really nice clothes. I mean, even as a kid thinking those things, to have my own apartment that was just gorgeous, that I could stay in one place.
Like, I would even watch TV. I didn’t even know it was called New York then, but I’d see like these businesswomen in a big city with tall buildings and go, “Oh, those women have it figured out. Like, they’re important and they’re in charge.” And I remember thinking, “That’s it. That’s what I’ll do.” And, look, I think we always love and respect our parents no matter what. But I just knew that that wasn’t going to be my life. And if there was going to be any change or shift, it would have to be up to me. And so, I left home at 18, moved country, ended up working in New York when I was 25, and by the age of 30 was making half a million dollars in the tech sector. And I was like, “I’ve done it!” I’m like, “This is it!” And I support my mom financially, which I’m so thrilled and happy to do. I mean, I love it. Like, all of my dreams have come true.
Hal Elrod: Does she still live back in the UK?
Susie Moore: She’s in the UK. Yeah. And so, when I even hit that kind of big goal, I was like, “You know what? I want something else now.” And sometimes I think in life, Hal, we don’t always give ourselves permission to want too much because we’re like, “This is enough. I should be grateful.” I remember feeling guilty for wanting more because I was like, “Check. Got a great husband, got a great apartment, got a nice income, etcetera.” But then, I don’t know, I think that life has so much more than we could even fulfill in our lifetime. There are so many. I think there’s a stream of miracles that enters our life like daily.
Hal Elrod: You had me at miracles.
Susie Moore: Yeah. My Miracle Morning. I know. And so, I remember just making that transition slowly as a side hustle into life coaching but I knew I was going to go big. I didn’t want to become a life coach who was getting by. I was like, “I want to be the best. I want to impact the most people. I want to use my time on earth with as much intention as possible.” And so, yeah, I started leveraging my media really early, just telling my stories, giving advice. And, Hal, I have no formal qualifications. I love to make this very clear upfront, including no college degree. So, if someone doesn’t think something’s available or possible, I just love to be a real-life example of what can be despite what some people might tell you isn’t possible or what isn’t available.
Hal Elrod: So, you dreamt really big. You could call that ambition, right? There was an extraordinary ambition within you to achieve more and contribute more. Was that born from how difficult childhood was? You kind of touched on that, but is that where you feel like that was born? Was there ever like a mentor in your life that instilled that in you? I know for me I had a mentor that really believed in me more than I believed in myself, and I credit him to me kind of making that defining choice to like go after something more than I had done before. So, what, for you, created that fire within you?
Susie Moore: I think it’s a couple of things because I do believe that we come onto planet Earth with a divine. It’s something divine for us to fulfill whatever it is, and there is no hierarchy with it. It’s whatever is meant for you is like it’s meant for you when you feel it. So, I do think we come onto planet Earth with a specific intention, and I think we’re given the right environment that can highlight and allow that intention to be if we’re not resisting it. So, for example, one of the reasons I think that the people who’ve worked with me or who do work with me like me is because they know about my history, right? They know that I’ve had some struggles. They know what I believe about them, what I believe about any struggles that come up in my life now, and that’s been a match for me. And that just works well. I said to my mom recently because parents, I think the relationships that we have with our parents are always changing and evolving. And I said I’m so thankful for the life that we had because it’s given me so much.
It was such a gift to be so clear, so young, and to be able to also have compassion for people in situations knowing that I’ve been there like knowing that I feel very comfortable with people. I feel very comfortable no matter even what they’re going through. I’m happy talking about a lot of topics that are uncomfortable for most people also. So, I feel there’s something that’s made for us, many things, right? We know what they are based on our intuition but then also the environment that we come into is meant to help us. And it’s kind of up to us to take the gems and the jewels from the past.
Hal Elrod: I love it. So, what I love about your story that you shared is that you started out with a chaotic environment. You started out with an abusive environment. You lost your dad at a young age, right? You had every excuse. There are many people that went through and had a similar background to you and that was their excuse for why they never were going to create the life they wanted and they’d really adopted a victim mentality. It’s very common. “Poor me, I didn’t deserve any of this. You know, my life sucks and it’s difficult. It’s hard.” You know, most people would say life is hard, work is hard, marriage is hard, friendships are hard, eating healthy is hard, losing weight is hard, on and on. But the paradigm shift that you’re inviting us to is let it be easy. So, now that I feel like I have a better understanding sort of our audience of who you are and kind of what your journey was, a glimpse, of course, or so much more but, yeah, let’s dive into how…
If someone’s listening right now and they’re like, “My life is hard. My marriage is hard. My spouse and I are fighting like crazy. I don’t think we’re going to make it. My work is hard. Finding money is hard. I can’t make enough money. I lost my job.” Whatever their hard is, right now where I’m bringing you in. I’m hiring you. Susie, as our life coach. Coach us. How can we shift our mindset to shift our results and improve our lives?
Susie Moore: You’re right, Hal. We are programmed to think that everything’s hard, right? So, for example, people say, “Oh my gosh, having a newborn is so hard. Oh, toddlers are the worst. Oh, middle school, that’s rough. Teenagers, oh, look, Hal. Oh, my God. It’s so hard when your kids leave for college.” Hal, when are you meant to enjoy it? Like, where’s the good part? I refer to a famous soccer player. I don’t remember his name, but he said this. He’s like, “When you’re at the very beginning, no one knows you. When you’re in the middle, people kind of respect you, but they don’t really care about you. When you’re at the top, people are jealous of you. And when you’re at the mega top, everyone wants to bring you down.” So, he’s like, “Each stage has its struggles, so you have to enjoy every stage.” And I think that we’re waiting or we’re thinking that there’s going to be an improvement or we want someone else to behave a different way. Like, we are waiting for something or we’re pretty strict on thinking that it’s not us, right? If only my husband would or if only my boss would or if only my team would.
So, I have a couple of questions that I love to ask myself when I’m struggling with something that’s hard. And people say marriage is hard. Being single is hard, renting is hard, owning a house is hard, being an employee is hard, running a business, oh, that’s so hard. Right? So, we have to have like a little bit of a sense of humor about this, too, because I don’t know where the good part is or why we’re all alive if it’s all just such a struggle.
Hal Elrod: Yeah. Amen.
Susie Moore: So, I love to ask if someone’s going through something, and sometimes it is serious, you know? But I love to go this situation that’s making you very frustrated right now or battling this negative emotion, how serious is it, really? Like, number one, how serious is it, really? So, sometimes that can be something small that consumes us. Our brains are like a dog with a bone, right? When there’s a problem, there’s momentum. We think about it. So, just say you didn’t get something that you want or a competitor got something that you want or someone criticized you and it hurt, right? How serious is this really? We take things so personally. We think that they’re so permanent. And when you look back at your life, a lot of the disasters that we had, either there was a gift in them, they came to an end, or it turns out it wasn’t that bad, often the perspective of time.
The second question I love to ask is what are my options? Like, what are my options? Because when we really believe that we’re stuck like we have to stay here, there is no room for movement like this is just it. Then that’s when the real suffering is, right? We think that we’re powerless. We think that, well, this is it. Like, this is my life. This is the situation. I can’t change that person so I’m doomed to this relationship being this way. I don’t know. I’m yet to have a situation with anyone. When we’ve looked at it in a calm, with a calm energy, followed a bit of loosening up to thinking like, “Really, what are my options?” And then looking frankly for the path of least resistance. So, like how can I let this be easy? Whatever situation, even if it’s like a flight delay, something like that, or someone going through a big career shift that’s unwanted because they were made redundant from a role, like, how serious is this really? Do you still have enough to get going? Are you okay for a few months? Like, is your health okay? Do you think that we can barely get through the next six months? Cool.
What are your options? Get on LinkedIn, make some connections. Do this. Call that person. Start a little something on your own. Lease out your additional bedroom. What are the options? We can only do this there when we’re being open and creative, not when we’re shut down energetically. And then what’s the easiest or most obvious next step? I even find, Hal, I don’t know if you agree with this but I almost feel like I don’t even make decisions. I’m just that the next best option is just presented to me when I’m feeling like an open channel for the right thing. It’s not like, “Hm, what will I decide?” We just kind of know. We’re guided to the right or the next best thing for us.
Hal Elrod: And you look at the options, you just pick what’s the easy one. What’s the obvious one? What’s the next? Yeah. Yeah.
Susie Moore: It’s like a magnet. It just pulls you there. You’re like, “Oh, okay.” Huh. But I will say most people are never told how powerful their minds are, and they never taught how many options actually lay before them, even if they don’t seem visible. Even if your friends will agree with you that your situation sucks. Even if, even if. Like, what actually else could be true? Because I think that so much of our suffering is believing a lot of lies.
Hal Elrod: Yeah. No, that’s a good point. I gave a speech once and this gal, she was 27 years old and she saw me speak and I was talking about the power of acceptance. And I shared this perspective that every painful emotion that we’ve ever experienced is self-created by our resistance to reality. It’s wishing and wanting. Resisting reality means wishing and wanting something were different that’s out of our control. And she emailed me like a week or two after my speech and she said, “Hal, when I first heard you talk about that every painful emotion we’ve experienced is self-created, I got angry because my dad committed suicide when I was 17 years old and I’ve spent the last ten years deeply depressed over it.” And what made me think of this, Susie, is everyone in my life told me it was good. “Of course, you’re depressed. You poor thing. Look at what you’ve been through.” And she said, “So, I thought it was my dad’s death that was causing me to be depressed for a decade. And no one ever told me that I had the option to accept that he was gone and change what that meant for me.”
And she said, “Since I saw you speak, I decided the memory of my dad will never cause me again anger, depression, all these emotions. I decided gratitude because I have my life because of my dad. And so, why not let that be the meaning and the memory of my dad brings forth within me?” And so, it’s just really powerful to think that somebody could be depressed for ten years over something as serious as the loss of their dad and everything you’re talking about today, Susie, to me, it’s simply shifting their perspective and realizing they have options, different ways of looking at it. They don’t have to be angry and upset. They can actually be at peace with it. And so, I mean, she went from ten years to within a matter of days totally shifted her perspective around that. And so, I feel like if somebody can do that for such a significant experience in their life, such a traumatic experience, one that had caused them pain for ten years and in a matter of days applying a lot of what you’re talking about, which is shifting your perspective.
Susie Moore: Hal, that is so beautiful and powerful. I’ll tell you, in my own life, too, I was divorced in my early twenties so I remember and actually, it’s happened now. So, I was the first. First mover advantage in my friend group. I was the first person to be divorced. When you’re divorced in your early twenties, you’re a bit of a rarity, right? It’s not that common. People are getting married later now, but I’ve since had a few friends go through that. I’m in my late thirties now. I’ve had many friends go through the same process. It happens, It’s reality, it’s okay. And I’m like, “All right. Getting divorced, cool. Like, where to now? Like, what do you need? You want to have a conversation of how you feel or should we look at your options?” And I think that most people expect almost like this. “Oh, no.” And look, everyone’s life and decisions are different like what makes sense for someone doesn’t make sense for someone else. We’re here to be uniquely ourselves.
But I think, okay, if someone wants to really make some great changes and if they want to enjoy even something difficult that they’re going through, then I’m the person to call. Probably not the person to call, though, If you want to talk for three hours about how miserable your life is. I mean, I just can’t. I’ll just be like, “Really? Isn’t it?”
Hal Elrod: Yeah. I’m the same. I’m the same.
Susie Moore: I’m like, “You look great. Yeah. Your kids are healthy. You still got that great job as an attorney. You think you’ve lost everything. You’ve just lost a relationship and an expectation of your future but there are many potential futures.” Yeah.
Hal Elrod: So, don’t call you if I want to b*tch, moan, and complain for three hours and have you tell me how terrible my life is and I’m a poor thing. So, you’re not the one to call.
Susie Moore: No, but there are plenty of people who will listen and there are plenty of people who will do that. But I think, yeah, you know, Hal, I think that I programmed my friends this way too. No one calls me with their problems like that. They do call me though if they want to like see some positive change and take some action. And then we have fun.
Hal Elrod: Instead of a pity party, it’s a progress party, right? You’re like, “All right, let’s not focus on the pity. Let’s focus on the progress.” Right?
Susie Moore: With cupcakes, yes.
Hal Elrod: Yeah. I love that. You know, it reminds me, someone brought up the other day Byron Katie and her work Loving What Is and they said, like what you just said about your friend in the divorce, Byron Katie, something I’m going to just paraphrase but someone asked her, “Hey, how’s your mom doing?” And she’s like, “Well, she’s dead, so she’s great,” but like literally smiled. And I think she’d only passed away like a few months before or something but it’s just this idea that, like, look, life’s going to do what life’s going to do and you literally have a choice to be miserable or whatever the opposite of that is for you, grateful, happy, at peace, whatever. Life’s going to do what it’s going to do. And to me, the best proof in any time you or I are talking to someone and you have the skeptic like, “Yeah, right. You can’t just choose to be happy. You can’t choose to be whatever.” It’s because we have this paradigm that we’ve been conditioned to believe, which is when good things happen, I’m allowed to feel good. And when bad things happen, I have to feel bad. And how about no matter what happens, you get to choose how you feel, but that’s what you’re empowering people to realize that they have control. They can choose how they feel. What would you say about that?
Susie Moore: I think that choosing how you feel is the ultimate superpower. And I think that if everyone on earth could know this, could know that you choose, like could know that maybe not immediately, maybe not every single time, and maybe not perfectly, but more than probably we all do. Choosing how you feel like with intention like even the other day, Hal, you know sometimes you just wake up and you’re in a low mood? This is why you need Hal’s books and his methods.
Hal Elrod: Totally.
Susie Moore: Right? But it’s not even an identifiable thing. Like, sometimes with women, it’s to do with our cycle too. I’m just feeling like and I’m always looking for a reason to pin it on. Like, why do I feel a bit low today or a bit anxious or something like that? I’m like, “Who can be at fault here? Who could I blame?” I remember thinking as I was lying down, I wasn’t even out of bed yet, I was thinking, “I’m not going to feel this way today,” because I knew how the day would go, right? It’d be like, “I’ll cancel my meeting or like I’ll cancel my workout. I’ll put on the TV.” You know, we can go there and sometimes we need to do that. Sometimes we absolutely need to. But I was like, “I’m not going to do that. Today is not the day. There could be another day where I do that but today is going to be a very good day.” So, it is a very good day. And I’m just thinking then I start putting on like a peppy YouTube video, maybe some Abraham Hicks, maybe some Byron Katie. And then I’m like, “Okay. What was happening today? Okay.”
All these things that I have once a dream, right? Hal, I learned about your book when I still had a corporate job, right? Your book has been in the mix in my world forever, and here I am speaking to you. I mean, what a blessing. What a privilege. I mean, what am I going to do? Go, “Oh, I’m busy today. This on a Friday?” Like no. And I’ve got calls after this. I’m like, what a great day. Like, I dreamt I prayed for these things and here they are. A friend of mine said recently, she’s got twins. They’re driving her crazy. You know, kids. And she’s like, “I prayed for them.” She had a long fertility journey and she’s like, “I prayed for these kids and now they’re driving me crazy.” And I’m like, “Yeah, but remember like when it was all you wanted?” You’re not meant to be a Buddha all the time, but sometimes we can come back to, “How serious is this?” Right? Like, yeah, you’re exhausted or, yeah, you feel a bit anxious today. It’s okay. Like, there’s something else we can do. What’s going right? What would you five years ago think about your problem today? Because as you progress in life, your problems didn’t go away but they become better problems.
Hal Elrod: Yeah. And you’re able to it’s how you look at them, right? Again, the problem is if you aren’t capable of seeing it other than this all-consuming, self-destructing problem, then it’s going to be challenging. I want to go through the questions that you asked. You know, for anyone that’s struggling or having stress over how serious is it really, one of my mentors taught me the question, which to me is a very similar question, “Will this matter in five years?” Right?
Susie Moore: Right.
Hal Elrod: And most of the time, it won’t but some of the times if it’s a divorce or something, you might go, “Well, yeah, it’s going to matter.” But I think it goes to your next question, which is what are my options? And you talked about the ultimate superpower, and I agree with you 100% is to choose how you feel in any given moment regardless of your circumstances. And to me, when it comes to what are my options, that’s the first and most important option, which is how do I want to feel right now. What emotion, what mental and emotional state would best serve me in this moment to get through this experience? It’s usually not overwhelm. That’s not the emotional state that would best serve you or depression and to realize that you get to choose and then what’s the easiest and most obvious next step and you talked about something which is you woke up, you’re feeling you’re just in a funk, right? I have those days where like, why am I in a funk? I have no idea but I’m in a funk, right?
Okay. Now, my choice, do I ride the funk wave and keep going further down the rabbit hole and keep getting funkier, get more upset, right? Or do I shift my focus and ask myself, “What do I need to do to feel empowered, to feel better?” And I love what you talked about, which is you’ll put on some Abraham Hicks, some audiobook. And I want you to think about this if you’re listening. If you are in a stressful, fearful state, turning on the news by default will automatically cause you to feel more fear and more stress because that’s literally what the news does. It’s selling fear, selling stress, so on and so forth. But if you go listen to a Susie Moore podcast or a Cathy Heller podcast or Achieve Your Goals, whatever, it is literally shifting your focus in a positive direction. And so, in terms of an easiest and most obvious next step, Susie, that’s what I usually do when I’m in a funk is I realize I need to read something or watch something or listen to something positive.
Susie Moore: What’s your go-to? What’s your go-to, Hal? I’m curious. Like, if you’re like, “Ooh, not feeling that good,” like, what do you do? Is it a video you watch? Is it a book you go to?
Hal Elrod: It’s usually a book. So, I’m glad you asked me this. So, I keep it in my bedside table next to my bed. It’s a three-drawer. It’s got three drawers. One of the drawers is half a dozen of my favorite feel-good books. So, these are books that I’ve already read. And when I read, I underline every line that I’m ever going to want to read again. And that usually is about 20% of the book. I mean, I underline the lot but now I can go back and reread that book in 20% of the time and get everything back or go to certain chapters. But the point for that, in the evening, when I read in the evening, I don’t want to read a new book because I have to really focus and I have to really pay attention to use a lot of mental energy to, you know, it can stimulate me because I’m trying to, “Oh, I got to underline.” No, I only read books that I’ve already read. And so, for example, The Untethered Soul is one of those books.
Susie Moore: Yes.
Hal Elrod: And speaking of the superpower that you address, Susie, you said being able to choose how you feel is the greatest superpower. Michael Singer I think it was in The Untethered Soul. It might have been Living Untethered. Both of those books are in my drawer. But he said, and I’ll paraphrase, but he said, “What matters is learning how to feel good.” He goes, “If you could feel up all the time and feel light and happy and grateful, it doesn’t matter what happens in life.” If you went through your entire life and you got to the end, you’re like, “Dude, I enjoyed it all,” but like wait, you had cancer and you got a divorce and you are like, “What do you mean you enjoyed it all?” You’re like, “I just chose to enjoy it all. I had a great life. They’re like, “Interesting because I didn’t have the problems that you had, but I had a crappy life. I had a really stressful life.” So, it’s all about how you look at it, right?
Susie Moore: Oh, my gosh, Hal. You know what I think? This is like a vision I have. Okay. So, whatever you believe, just say that there is an offset. Say there’s a heaven that we go to, right, and everyone has different beliefs, but just say at the end of it all so your soul leaves your body along with the other souls on earth that leave the precise same time and just say you’re walking towards heaven’s gates or whatever you believe but there’s a bunch of you and you’re going towards the next stage, the next round. Who is the winner in that group of souls? Is it going to be the person who’s like, “I was a model, right?” Or someone who was like, “Oh, man, like I slave in the stock market,” or, “I was on the cover of a magazine,” like, whatever like “I had my own reality show.” or is it a person who just says, “You know what, I really enjoyed that.” I think about if there are people leaving a wedding or a party or anything, a cruise ship, the winner is the person who’s like, “I really enjoyed the cruise. Like, I really enjoyed that barbecue. I really enjoyed…” versus, “Oh, well, this wasn’t perfect and that was cold and she was mean and that wasn’t on time. And oh, man, the way it rained,” it’s like at the end of it all isn’t the winner the person who’s like, “Well, I had a good time?”
Because everything else that we want, right, including maybe model looks or money, whatever it is, it’s because we think we’ll be like, “Oh, it’ll give me a good time.” So, you cut out the middleman and you’re like, “Hey, I’m having a good time.” Even if there’s a delay in your life, even if there is like an unwanted outcome or sometimes people say, “Fail, yeah,” it’s like, Huh? Like, what? You won’t be up all the time, right? Naturally, we can’t be. But what can we drop some resistance around? Like, we can have the experience but without the whole story of the thoughts that will just continue to suck the life out of us like, “I’m bad at this. It’s not going to get better. Someone told me once that I’m bad at these things and they were right.” Uh-uh. Like, there is a situation and then there’s the judgment. So, the judgment is everything and that’s up to us and I think that’s pretty great.
Hal Elrod: I love that. I love that. Yeah. The person that wins is the person that had the best time. Because think about it, we see so many successful people that are stressed to the max that are always comparing themselves to others. So, the person making $100,000 a year is looking at, you know, it’s like, “Oh, my gosh, they’re spending $200,000 a year,” and then they’re looking to the millionaire or the millionaire is looking at the ten millionaire and the billionaire and on. And it’s like you see all these celebrities that turn to drugs and alcohol and vices and even suicide because they thought that what you’re talking about was in the thing they were chasing and then they got the thing and they’re like, “Oh, it’s not in the thing. It’s in me.”
Susie Moore: And another thing, Hal, that adds to this is sometimes thinking that we have something to prove or that there is a particular person we need to prove something to. So, I just read this story about the – do you know the band, Metallica?
Hal Elrod: Yeah. Yeah.
Susie Moore: The main guy from Metallica.
Hal Elrod: Not personally but I know of them.
Susie Moore: I mean, it’s not my kind of music but I read the story about, Hal, the main person in Metallica was actually kicked out of the band like unceremoniously one night. And he was so upset. He was so mad. He was like, “I’m going to go out and just absolutely destroy Metallica by being the coolest, creating the new coolest band ever.” And he created this band called Megadeth and like I’m not into heavy metal music but Megadeth were huge. They still are huge. They sell out stadiums. They are extremely well known. They’ve sold millions and millions of records, but they don’t headline like Metallica do. So, by any other stretch, right, this person who created Megadeth, he’s probably failing in his mind, right? Because there’s something to prove and I think, gosh, if you’ve got to be prettier than that person or you just got to like make, like you said, make a bit more money. I even heard, Hal, this statistic that we’d rather earn 100K if our friends are earning 75K than a 200K if our friends are earning 300K.
Hal Elrod: I’ve heard that before too. Yeah.
Susie Moore: Isn’t that madness? We would at the risk or at the cost of ourselves, at the cost of our own beautiful reality like we would still rather have like a pecking order or like something that person has to see us and, “Huh, like I wonder if that’s true.” I can just picture this guy touring being so successful going, “Oh, but Metallica is still the headline. I’m the supporting act.” I’m going, “Well, you’ve actually achieved like you’re a dream come true for like a budding musician, like looking at you.” So, I think that the comparison and how we judge our lives compared to others matters a lot. And one of my favorite questions to ask, Hal, is this: How much would you love your life if you knew nothing, not one thing about anyone else’s life?
Hal Elrod: I love that.
Susie Moore: Like, how much would you like… Like, if you woke up in your apartment with your family, in your home, looking at your garden and you knew nothing. You weren’t like, “Oh, well, that person sold a billion books,” or, “Oh, but that person she’s got three salons. I’ve got two salons.” Like, what if you just didn’t know? Would you think your life is pretty good?
Hal Elrod: Yeah. Yeah, I think that it’s living in like enjoying your life in isolation, right? Not comparing it to others, just going, “Look, I’m living this blessed life and it has its ups and its downs and its challenges, but I can choose to experience and enjoy every moment.” And it’s like, if I do that, like Susie said, then you win. And Michael Singer said, “I was the one that enjoyed it the most. You had the bigger house, you had the faster car, you had more money, the bigger bank account, but I enjoyed it more than you so suck it.”
Susie Moore: Here’s my medal. I don’t even care. Yeah.
Hal Elrod: I’ve never thought of it that way, Susie, but that’s it, right? If you want to get competitive, enjoy it more than them, right? Don’t worry about having the bigger house or the bigger bank account. Can you enjoy it more? And if you enjoy it more than anybody else, you’re the most successful person on the planet. And we can all choose that. It’s like you said in the beginning, you’re not changing anything on the outside. We’re just changing how we experience this one life we’ve been blessed to live.
Susie Moore: I know. You know, I’m working on this piece right now for a media outlet, and it’s called Why Being Content is the Biggest Flex. It’s like, I know that you’re running around doing loads of cool things but, man, you haven’t slept. And wait, when was the last time you spoke to your wife? Like, what’s going on? You know, where was the last time you took like three weeks off and did something wild just for you? Oh, it’s an interesting thing to think about. Yeah, I had the best time. I think that I like that to be my tombstone. I had the best time.
Hal Elrod: Susie Moore. She had the best time. That’s right.
Susie Moore: Beat that.
Hal Elrod: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. You mentioned you’re working on this media piece. What else are you working on right now? What’s the main focus? What’s lighting you up? What’s exciting? Obviously, your book, Let It Be Easy, I mean, I’m sure you still want to share that with as many people as you can.
Susie Moore: Yes.
Hal Elrod: Well, what do you want people to… Yeah. What are you working on? What are you sharing?
Susie Moore: One thing that’s bringing me a load of joy right now, Hal, is frankly, my podcast. I drop daily episodes 5 minutes every day where I talk about things that, in my opinion, like matter, things that can make differences in our lives, different shifts, small things that are easy to implement, different fun questions to ask yourself each day funny anecdotes, conversations I have, things I eavesdrop. I love to eavesdrop. If you’re ever around me, be careful. I’m like, “Ooh, what is she saying about food? Ooh, what is she saying about what’s happening over in my bed?” Like, I want to know. So, I just share stories, anecdotes like taking from my own life experience. Like you, I’m a huge reader so I share a lot of my best stuff and really enjoy my part. That’s probably my favorite thing right now. I have so much energy for it like I can just keep going and going.
Hal Elrod: Nice. That’s awesome. And the name of the podcast?
Susie Moore: Let It Be Easy.
Hal Elrod: Let It Be Easy. Well, Susie Moore, two Os. M-O-O-R-E. So, the book is Let It Be Easy. You all can get it on Amazon. The podcast is Let It Be Easy. I mean, if you enjoyed your time with Susie today, which I’m sure you did because, Susie, you exude so much love and positive energy and I love that you’re doing the daily podcast. I think that having a little Susie Moore in our lives every day for 5 or 10 minutes, like, come on. That’s one of those easy things you can do, those easy next steps that can enhance your life is go subscribe to the Let It Be Easy podcast wherever you like to listen your podcast. And, Susie, where’s the best place for people to follow you or get in touch with you?
Susie Moore: I would just check out my site. I have a lot of free resources around confidence, around feeling good, around managing your emotions, and it’s simply my name, Susie-Moore.com. Lots of goodies, lots of freebies there. And it’s a candy store, right? Just like life. Let’s have a good time, Hal. I even think whenever I create my own materials, whatever content I’m coming up with, whatever I’m working on, I’m just playing. And I think that, I don’t know, I think that that’s probably a bit of a dream to have fun and be relaxed of what it is that you’re creating and doing. And so, when something feels good to me then I continue to do it.
Hal Elrod: Beautiful. All right. So, if you’re listening, go to Susie Moore. That’s Susie-Moore.com for all the goodies that Susie has to offer. Well, Susie, it’s been a blessing. I’m sure we will do this again. By the way, do you live near Cathy?
Susie Moore: She lives like an hour. When she’s in Florida, she’s like an hour and like 10 minutes away. So, when she’s in L.A., no, but when she’s in Florida, yes, and we always get together when we can. It’s like the most fun.
Hal Elrod: What city are you in in Florida?
Susie Moore: Miami.
Hal Elrod: Have you heard of the restaurant PLANTA?
Susie Moore: Vegan.
Hal Elrod: Yes. Vegan sushi.
Susie Moore: Are you vegan?
Hal Elrod: I’m vegan by day, Paleo by night.
Susie Moore: I like it. No, PLANTA is fantastic. You’ve been to the one on the beach or the Coconut Grove?
Hal Elrod: The Coconut Grove. Yeah.
Susie Moore: Oh, so it’s like the Asian.
Hal Elrod: And I’ve been to the New York location three times. I discovered it in New York. And then when I was in Florida, I went with a friend but it’s incredible.
Susie Moore: Well, let me know when you’re here. I’d love to buy you some vegan sushi.
Hal Elrod: Yeah. All right. Miami, Susie Moore. I’m going to make sure those are linked forever. Well, Susie, alright, I love you so much. Thank you for today.
Susie Moore: Thank you too, Hal. Thank you so, so, so much. I’ll stay in touch and I’ll speak to you soon.
Hal Elrod: All right. Don’t hang up yet. Goal achievers, thank you for tuning in to the podcast today with Susie Moore. And Let It Be Easy, go grab her book, subscribe to her podcast, and visit her website, Susie-Moore.com. Love you so much. I will talk to you all next week. Take care, everybody.