[INTRODUCTION]

Hal Elrod: Hello, friends, welcome to the Achieve Your Goals podcast. This is your host, Hal Elrod, and oh, my gosh, you are in for such a treat today. I’m on a roll. Yesterday, I interviewed Jesse Cole, founder of Banana Ball, and I was like on Cloud 9. And this, today’s episode is no different. My guest is Samantha Skelly. She’s an international bestselling author. She’s a sought-after international speaker, host of the Can’t Be Contained podcast and founder of the world’s leading breathwork brand, Pause Breathwork.

Now, I brought her on today because her and I were at an event speaking the other day and we’ve known each other for years, but not well. Just like a, oh, hi Samantha. Hey, it’s good to see you, but like, we don’t really know each other. But the other day, she came backstage into the green room where I was speaking. She was speaking as well at the DestinyFest event and we like, just, what do they call that, dropped in, right? We dropped in and we had probably like a 30-minute conversation, and I just fell in love with her. I’m like, “You’re an amazing human being and I would love to continue this conversation on the podcast so that my listeners, our community can benefit from who you are and how you show up.” And so, that’s what you’re about to listen to.

And she’s going to share with you how breathwork can transform your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical wellbeing. But it goes beyond that because she’s an extraordinary business human being, like a business human being, an entrepreneur, I think they call that. She’s an extraordinary entrepreneur. And she shifted from operating in the masculine, where it’s like, go, go, go and hustle and left brain, logical thinking. And she found a way to align business with soul and spirituality. And I mean, you’re going to see like, I’m like a– I don’t even know how to explain it. Like, when she’s talking, I’m like, I want to learn from you, Samantha. So, you’re going to get the really cool conversation where I was just curious. I had a list of 10 questions to ask her. I think I asked her maybe three of the questions on the list and the rest of the conversation was just organic, because, as she would share something, I wanted to know more, I wanted to go deeper. It brought up another thought.

So, anyway, this conversation is so rich because Samantha Skelly is so rich. I don’t just mean financially. I think she’s that too. But as a soulful, spiritual, amazing human being, and I’m going to have her– she teaches us breathwork, the power of breathwork, which is something that I’ve not gone deep into, but you’re going to hear in the first few minutes of our conversation, I had a radical, profound transformative experience from a single breathwork session that I did at an event. And you’ll hear me talk about why I started bawling my eyes out during the breathwork session and then when I shared about it. So, anyway, you’re going to love this conversation. Listen to the end, and it is such a pleasure to introduce you to the one and only Samantha Skelly.

[INTERVIEW]

Hal Elrod: Samantha Skelly, it is so good to see you.

Samantha Skelly: It’s so nice to be here. I’m so excited to drop in with you.

Hal Elrod: So, it was cool. So, we ran into each other backstage at DestinyFest, an event put on by Giovanni Marsico that we both spoke at. And you caught me in the green room and we had a very nice hug and then an awesome catchup session. And then I text you, like right after, I’m like, “Come on the podcast,” right? So, here you are.

Samantha Skelly: I am so happy we made this happen. This is so good.

Hal Elrod: Yeah. And you are, right now, I mentioned, for those that aren’t watching this but they’re listening, you have a beautiful, like, it’s a log cabin background. I can see the wood stove pipe that goes up to the ceiling behind you. So, where are you right now? What are you doing?

Samantha Skelly: I know, I text you, I’m like, I’m not in my normal studio. So, it’s going to be a little bit of like a cabin vibe happening here. We’re up in Ottawa, California running a retreat for my mastermind. I have 33 women up here and we’re just working on energy and embodiment and wealth consciousness and building soulful businesses. And so, we’ve been doing like so much breathwork and moving and dancing and journaling and just playing. Like, the theme of this retreat is adult summer camp. So, I was like, you guys, leave your adults at home because we’re going to evolve and we’re going to transform through the portal of play and joy, not through hard work. So, we’re just going to like playing the whole time, eating s’mores, having a good time. So, that’s where we at.

Hal Elrod: That’s so good. And that’s such a way of approaching life that many of us are not doing and we’re forgetting, right, which is like, you should enjoy. To me, it’s like, it’s enjoy every moment. I have this big sign when you walk into my house. It’s a picture of the whole dock in the lake and it just says, enjoy every moment. And easier said than done sometimes, right? But that’s what we aspire to.

Samantha Skelly: Having that frame is so beautiful. It’s like having the standard of like, I’m dedicated to enjoying every single moment. Like just something as like a simple frame like that. And then when we find ourselves in moments where doubt creeps in or whatever it is, we get to come back to that frame to go, what would I do right now to infuse more joy in my life, right? If that’s my frame of like, I’m going to, like, why not enjoy every moment? Like, we’re on this planet for such a finite amount of time. Well, how can I organize my thoughts and my energy and my body to just like bring more joy in? I love that.

Hal Elrod: I believe that at the end of our lives that we’re going to look back and we’re going to feel maybe regret that we didn’t enjoy more moments. Like, the problems are going to be in life anyway, and you can either allow the problems, the external to dictate your internal, or you can go, man, this sucks right now. I’m going through a difficult time and I’m going to enjoy every moment while I figure out this craziness, this chaos that I’m in the midst of, right?

Samantha Skelly: Yeah. It’s like life is simultaneously so tragic and so beautiful. If you were to ask me right now, tell me a hundred things in your world that are like crunchy, I could tell you, and I could also tell you a hundred things in my world that are so beautiful and so blissful and so amazing, and the practice and the discipline is like, what are we going to focus on? What are we going to focus on because that ultimately is going to create momentum in the direction of what we want, right? So, yeah, the duality of life is the beauty of life. The duality of life is the beauty of life and the moments where we are in those contractions and our bodies are in pain and we’re in fear and the whole thing, it actually makes the moments that we’re in bliss and joy so much richer and so much more beautiful. It’s like if we have steak and lobster every single night, it’s going to get a little bit boring, right? But if we have some meals that aren’t as good, the steak and lobster is going to be so epic. So, yeah, that’s the beauty of life, duality and everything.

Hal Elrod: Yeah, the peaks and the valleys, right? One thing I appreciate about you and I’m reminded of it as the first five minutes of our conversation here is that you blend the woo-woo with the– how do I even put it? Well, I’ll just put it this way. You’re very spiritual and you’re a highly successful founder and CEO of a company, right? You’re leading 33 women right now in a mastermind, which is part of your business, and you’re playing in a cabin. Like, so yeah, I love that, right? And there’s a little bit more duality, you know what I mean?

Samantha Skelly: Yeah. It’s interesting that you name that because the company that I had before Pause Breathwork was called Hungry for Happiness. And I ran that business in a very different way. I didn’t know the laws of energy and realizing that energy is absolutely everything and we are commanding reality with our energy, moment by moment, breath by breath. I didn’t know that. And so, I did business the way that I learned through my environment. I came from a family of athletes and entrepreneurs. And the way that they did business was very different than the way that I do it now. And it was more like force hustle, like the harder I work, the more money I make the. It was very masculine, right?

And obviously, I’m a woman. And so, I got to this place of my old business where I was like, if that’s what it’s going to feel like on a daily basis, I don’t want anything to do with that. And I had this moment of like, how can I blend? Because I am very strategic and I’m a high achiever and I love business and it’s so fun for me. But I also am, to your point, I have this side of me that is very energetic and spiritual and I really believe in that more than anything else. And so, I just created a reality of like, I get to have both. I get to have my business feel embodied and fun and creative.

And the mastermind that I’m running right now is called the LIFE Mastermind, which stands for lucrative, impactful, fun, and easy. And I’m like, everything in life is created twice. It’s created once in our minds and in our bodies, and then it’s created in reality. So, if we want to create something, we have to believe it’s so true in advance and we have to create the certainty in our bodies. And so, I just came to this place where I’m like, no, I believe that I can do $10, $20, $30 million in my business at a 30% profit margin and do it from a place of just pure fun, play, enjoy. And so, I had to create the identity before I actually manifested it in reality.

Hal Elrod: I’m so inspired. Like, I have a direction I want to go in the podcast, and now, I’m like, I want to go in a different direction. So, I might bring you back on like, because I really do, I mean, even selfishly, like, I want more of that, personally. I think I’m going to join your mastermind. I don’t know, we’ll figure it out. But yeah, the way you approach it, I’m like, I need more. I’m still too much on the push, drive, et cetera. And so, yeah, I think I need to bring a little more spirituality into my business world.

Let me start here because, so first of, I’ll set the tone here, which is the Miracle Morning Community and this is the Achieve Your Goals podcast, but it’s really one and the same. It’s listened to by the Miracle Morning Community. And breathwork is part of the SAVERS. It’s probably the least prevalent part, and that may be because it’s something that I’ve never gone deep into it. So, like the S in SAVERS of the Miracle Morning silence, I almost, always talk about meditation, prayer, and then as an afterthought, eh, and breathwork, right? But it’s not from a place, like when I do my Miracle Morning, it’s almost, always meditation and prayer, and breathwork is occasional. I’ve actually had breathwork experiences at the Front Row Dads event where we did a 45-minute breathwork session. And I’m doing the breathwork and it’s intense.

And probably five minutes in, I’m listening to the guide and I’m like, this isn’t working for me, and I want anyone that’s never done breathwork to listen to what I’m saying right now. So, I’m like, this isn’t working for me. And in my head, I’m like, this is a waste of time and it’s not even comfortable. I’m kind of uncomfortable right now. And probably around minute 7 or so, might’ve been minute 12, I don’t remember, but all of a sudden, I start bawling my eyes out. I have a somatic experience, which I don’t have a lot of experience with, and I start bawling my eyes out and then I start talking to myself in a way of prayer. It’s like a conversation with God and I’m telling myself, Hal, you’re safe. You’ve been through a lot. I mean, I don’t remember all the words. I have it in my journal. It was a couple of years ago, but I was like, oh, my God.

And then afterwards, Jon Vroman, the leader of Front Row Dads, like, “Anybody want to share their experience?” And this is the first night of the event, there’s like 200 guys. I raised my hand and I just start bawling. And I like, I’m like trying to share what happened and I’m like, I just experienced so much self-love, which felt like it came from God, right? Not just self, my highest self. So, all of that is to say, that is what’s possible with breathwork from my experience, like an out-of-body totally spiritual ayahuasca level, right? Like, something that you would hire a shaman and then you would drink a tea that was brewed from bark and leaves in the Amazon. But no, it’s literally just your breath that can get you there.

So, I set the table with that. And I would imagine that most of our listeners are like, they don’t do– some do breathwork, but I would guess it’s less, right? So, I’m bringing you in as you are the founder of the world’s leading breathwork brand, Pause Breathwork. And so, I want to know how you got into this and then like, you can capitalize on what I said and like, what’s breathwork? Why do people do it? Why should people try it? Let’s go there.

Samantha Skelly: Yeah. So, well, first of all, I freaking love that because one of my favorite things is teaching breathwork to men who haven’t yet tapped into their emotional body, right? We have a mental body, we have an emotional body, and then we have a spiritual body. And so many of us, men and women, but a lot of times, I love it when men do the breath because they’re like, oh, there’s something to do. Okay. I’m not just sitting here in meditation, right? There’s an actual, like, there’s a movement that’s happening.

Hal Elrod: That’s interesting.

Samantha Skelly: And so, it works really well with men because there’s an act of practice, and the act of practice gets them into a deeper state of embodiment. So, we can talk about that a little bit later. But you mentioned that seven-minute mark, it might’ve been eight-minute, science shows us that at the eight-minute mark of breathing in a continual conscious way, the response of the amygdala slows down. So, our survival strategies sort of like slow down. The part of us that’s like, don’t cry, don’t do this, don’t say this, all of that sort of goes away and we have direct access to our emotional body and we’re just going to release whatever tension is there. And so, so beautiful.

And then the other thing that I’ll say about prayer and meditation, so breathwork before prayer and breathwork before meditation actually strengthens those practices because we get to clear the channel, clear the emotionality, clear the mind, and so, we have more of a direct access to God. Like when I do breathwork and then I pray, I feel like God’s in the room. I’m like, oh, my goodness. Like, this is amazing. And then when I do breathwork before meditation, my meditation is so much stronger because I’ve already released my monkey mind, and that’s what the breath does.

So, my origin story of breathwork, I grew up as a dancer and a child actress. I was a stunt double on Smallville for many years and I struggled really bad with anxiety, with body image issues, with disordered eating, the whole thing. And I was a personal development junkie, but I couldn’t figure out why I knew everything, but nothing was changing. Like, I would wake up in the morning and my first thought was, oh, I can’t wait to go to bed tonight. And not because I didn’t want to live.

Hal Elrod: Yeah, I’ve been there.

Samantha Skelly: No. But I’m like, I don’t want to die, but I just don’t want to have to listen to my thoughts all day long. I don’t want to have to struggle through this day, this anxiety, like fighting food, fighting my body, my inner critic. I’m like, sleep is the only time that I get peace. And so, I did every sort of personal development, like life coaching and therapy and behavior change and 47 Tony Robbins events and like the whole thing. And I’m like, nothing’s working. Like, I’m just learning more, but nothing’s changing. And I was getting so frustrated because I was consuming, but nothing was integrating.

So, I read the book, Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and she talks about going to Bali and finding this medicine man. And there was something in my intuition, I was like 22 years old at the time, there was something in my intuition that was like, you need to go there. You need to book a one-way ticket to Bali and you need to go figure out what is there for you. So, I did that. I booked a one-way ticket to Bali, and remember just being on the plane, being like, what am I doing? Why am I going? But when your mind’s like telling you one thing and doubting everything and your soul is like, just keep moving.

So, I got there. I found the guy, the actual guy that she talks about in the book. I remember pulling up the Lonely Planet book. I don’t know if those things still exist, but he was in the Lonely Planet. I found his address. I remember I had a paper map and I’m on the scooter meandering through Bali, trying to find this guy’s house or healing center. I pull up there and there’s a line of people out because the book, obviously, made him popular. And I waited in that line for hours and I’m like, again, there’s that voice in my head that’s like, what are you doing? Like, what’s going on here? It’s my turn. He pulls out these big long sticks and he does the acupuncture thing on my feet. And he is like, he just taps me on the head and he is like, you need to go meditate. Your brain is way too busy, like you think way too much. And at the time, I hated meditation because someone who has ADHD, body image issues, so much anxiety, the last thing you want to do is sit and feel your feelings and listen to your thoughts. So, it’s excruciating.

But then there was that inner voice that was like, you came all the way here. Just go listen to him. So, I found a meditation school, and there was no meditation class on the schedule, but there was a breathwork class. And this was 17 years ago before breathwork was cool, right? Breathwork is so cool now, but back then, not so much. I’m like, what is that? And it was a three-hour class. Now, it’s like, I’m going to breathe for three hours, like, what the heck? And again, God was like, just get in there. Just go do this. So, anyway, I also…

Hal Elrod: You’re destined to start Pause Breathwork. Just go. Trust me. It’ll all make sense.

Samantha Skelly: Yeah. Like, don’t give up now, girl, let’s go. So, I walk up these stairs, I open up the door, everyone’s lying down on the pillows and blankets. This guy, he was dressed all in white with a beard. He looks like Jesus. And he came up to me and he just goes, “Are you ready to go on the ride of your life?” And I was like, “That’s strange.” I’m like, “What’s going to happen in this room?” And he’s like, “You are going to experience the entire range of human emotion. You are going to shed everything that you’re holding onto that no longer serves you. You’re going to feel the highest states of joy and bliss.” And I was like, “Dude, you do not know me.” I’m like, “I hang out in numbness and anxiety. Those are the two neighborhoods that I hang out in. Don’t ask me to feel anything else because I literally can’t.”

And so, we lied down and he taught the breath pattern, which was a three-part breath that we teach at pause. And within like three to four minutes of doing that, I felt the electricity just like coming back into my body, like I could feel, like my hands felt like light beams and my heart was cracked open. And then I hit that eight-minute mark and all of my survival strategies dissolved and I felt the most intense feeling of self-love I have ever felt in my entire life.

Hal Elrod: Wow.

Samantha Skelly: And it just rippled through my body. And that three hours felt like 10 minutes because time just sort of collapses when you’re in a space like that. And I woke up from that experience and I went up to this Jesus-looking dude, and I’m like, “What on God’s green Earth was that?” And he was like, “That was you. Your breath is the bridge that connects you back to you.” And I’m like, “Why don’t they teach this in school? Why does the whole world not know that we can do this? This is so unfair.”

Hal Elrod: Wow. And you were how old at this time, by the way? How old?

Samantha Skelly: I was like 22.

Hal Elrod: Okay.

Samantha Skelly: This is weird actually. When did your book come out?

Hal Elrod: 2012.

Samantha Skelly: What year? 2012. Dude, I remember reading your book during this time period.

Hal Elrod: No way.

Samantha Skelly: So, I’m 36 now. And I was 22 then. So, that timing’s about accurate because I remember reading your book while I was like in this time period.

Hal Elrod: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that’d be 14 years ago. That’s crazy.

Samantha Skelly: Holy crap. Full circle moment, let’s go.

Hal Elrod: Yeah, yeah. Come on.

Samantha Skelly: So, then I went back to my hotel room, like, so I said, “Why does the whole world not know this?” And I just remember him saying, “Maybe you’re the one to tell them.”

Hal Elrod: No way.

Samantha Skelly: And I swear, that was the little seed that he planted. I rode my scooter back to my Airbnb or my bed and breakfast, and I just started Googling on the world’s slowest internet. It took so long for each page to load, like, what is breathwork? What just happened? Who are the breathwork experts? And I just got emails of people who do this in the world and I just sent these cold emails, Hal, like 22 years old, I’m like, you don’t know me, but I need you to mentor me because I need to understand everything about this. I need to understand what just happened, why I feel like this, why I feel so amazing, what is going on.

And so, a few of them responded. Stan Grof being one of them from Holotropic Breathwork. And I began my journey studying with him. And I was just a student for eight years. I was like, I just want to soak in everything there is to know about this. I never intended of starting a breathwork company. I just was so obsessed with the medicine of breath and healing myself and my body and my thoughts. And then God works in mysterious ways. And in 2018, I just got a very clear, like, you need to teach the world to breathe from God. And as soon as that download came in, I pivoted everything and just went all in. And so, that’s my vibe. That’s my mission.

Hal Elrod: That’s it. And the three-part breathwork technique that you just mentioned, I did that this morning because that’s in the Miracle Morning app that you taught, right? I’m sure I mentioned this when I introduced you in the beginning, but the Miracle Morning app does have a Samantha Skelly Miracle Morning breathwork track. And as you mentioned, when you do breathwork before prayer, it opens you up to God. Breathwork before meditation, it opens you up to your highest self. And that’s what you do in the track, right? It’s like, it’s a 30-minute track, it’s a full-blown breathwork session, but you start with the breathwork and then you go into all of the other SAVERS after the breathwork has opened you up.

Samantha Skelly: Yeah.

Hal Elrod: I want to say this, just for folks that have never done breathwork, it’s actually hard. It can be uncomfortable. Like I mentioned, when I was doing that breathwork session, I was like, ah, ah, this is uncomfortable. Like, it’s work. It’s like it’s going to the gym, right? And I think that’s an important expectation to set because if people don’t have that and they expect it to just be like, meditation where you’re just like sitting there and you’re not doing anything, right? Then they’re like, wait, I don’t, like, I’m three minutes in and like, I’m kind of uncomfortable. Yeah, like, obviously, this is your world. What would you say to somebody to set the right expectation for them to get the most out of breathwork?

Samantha Skelly: I tell people when I teach them, I’m like, “You’re going to hate me and you’re going to hate this for the first four minutes. And that’s just the way it’d be sometimes. Okay?”

Hal Elrod: Got it. Love it. Okay, perfect.

Samantha Skelly: Because there’s that on-ramp, right? We’re bringing more energy into the body. We’re opening up. like we’re stretching our muscles where our muscles don’t stretch, right?

Like, bringing the breath right into our lower, sort of like sacral area. It’s like, it feels uncomfortable. We get a little bit dizzy because we’re increasing the amount of oxygen that we’re bringing into our body. So, I just tell people straight up, I’m like, “Listen, you’re not going to love this for the first three minutes, four minutes. You’re going to hit the eight-minute mark and you’re going to think that this is the greatest thing in the entire world. So, if you can just hang out until then, you’re going to be good.” And then over time, that first four minutes becomes more and more bearable because the body just gets used to it and those muscles strengthen. And the best way to get abs, by the way, is breathwork, like I swear by it.

Hal Elrod: Oh wow. Nice. Nice.

Samantha Skelly: Because we’re really engaging the body and we’re really using those lower muscles and opening up the heart, opening up the lungs, and there’s so much science and so much evidence around like our lung capacity and how it improves longevity and just our overall wellbeing and health. So, the reason why I love breathwork so much is because it really, one practice has the capacity to have an impact on our physical health, on our mental health, on our emotional health, and our spiritual health in one practice, right? From a health perspective, I mean, there’s so much science coming out around how it impacts our physicality. With the mind, again, I shared a little bit about shifting it from that fear mind survival strategy into a clear mind. Emotionality, I mean, when we don’t process our feelings, like feelings that are not felt don’t just disappear, they fester, they mutate, they have an impact on everything, and they make us just feel emotionally constipated. So. when we’re just full of trauma and full of emotion, we’re not feeling ourselves. Our bodies are just like stuck and they’re lethargic. So, the breath helps unpack a lot of that emotion and just processes it through the body like we’ve been given this incredible ability to heal our bodies through feeling. We just haven’t been taught the pathways of that.

And then, on the spiritual side, like, I can’t even tell you how many conversations I’ve had with God after breathwork. And I just feel like the connection is just so clear. I feel connected to the trees and the earth and God and people and mission. It’s just so potent, right? It’s like, when that part of us, our spirituality is dimmed, or we’re feeling like we’re not a part of something bigger, it can bring up a lot of depression and anxiety. And so, breathwork is really beautiful for people who do struggle with anxiety and depression to remind their body that we’re connected to something so magnificent.

Hal Elrod: Yeah. Well, and it’s what I experienced that day where the emotionality, like I haven’t cried most of my life. My sister died when I was eight years old. My 18-month-old baby sister died in front of me.

Samantha Skelly: Oh, oof.

Hal Elrod: And I immediately went to like lightheartedness. I was like, “Oh, she’s in heaven. That’s great. Heaven is the best place ever.” And I think they called out like a spiritual bypass or an emotional bypass. I had no idea at the time. I didn’t figure this out until like 5 years ago or 10 years ago in therapy or whatever, right? Like, where we were uncovering and they were like, “So, what happened when your sister died?” I’m like, “Oh, I just made a joke.” And they’re like, “Yeah.” I’m like, and I think that moment I was like, oh, if you just find humor in anything or lightheartedness, you don’t have to feel whatever these weird things that were starting to come up for an 8-year-old kid, right?

Samantha Skelly: For sure.

Hal Elrod: So, when I did that breathwork, right, it was like that was releasing all this pent-up emotion that, like you said, it doesn’t go anywhere. It gets stored in your body. And then the spiritual, God just started…

Samantha Skelly: I’ll kind of look into that just for a second because that’s really profound and I just want to extract it just for a moment. So, it’s like, when you were eight years old and you had trauma or like a life event that was so intense, the intelligence of your body created humor as a protector, right? And it’s just so wild how the body does that. And there are so many different protectors that the body naturally develops in order to protect these wounds, these ruptures, these moments of trauma, right? We can have– there’s the comedian, right, which is such a gift too because you are so funny. It’s like such a gift, but it’s like– then there’s the other side of it. It’s like, what is it protecting us from not feeling?

Hal Elrod: Totally.

Samantha Skelly: They can be the victim. The victim of like, I’m not going to feel this, so I’m going to play the victim. Or there’s the people pleaser. The body develops all these different protectors to protect us from not feeling the impact of the thing. And so, as we grow up, it’s really about, okay, can I feel that trauma? Can I feel that pain? Because then I won’t need this protector anymore, I won’t need the part of me that’s like playing a role or posturing. So, I just want to double click into that because that’s so powerful.

Hal Elrod: Yeah, no, it’s a double-edged sword. It’s like I developed this emotion, I call it emotional invincibility, where I was able to deal with anything without, like I could just make the best of anything and it’s a superpower. And I had no empathy for other humans because I did not understand what it felt like, right? So, being in a marriage where my wife would be like, like you don’t feel anything other than happy all the time. And most people are like, that’s great. But it’s, I think– in fact, I’d love to ask you, I’ve heard you say something that resonates with me. You’ve said that emotional suffering is optional, and I totally resonate with that, but I want to hear you unpack that with your wisdom. Like, what do you mean by that? And how does breathwork play a role in enabling people to put an end to their emotional suffering?

Samantha Skelly: Yeah. So, I’ll make a distinction between suffering and pain. So, pain is such a gift. Like, the energy of pain creates world. It builds us into better humans. It’s such a teacher. Pain is such a teacher. And God designed that energy for us to learn and grow and evolve. So, pain is a beautiful thing. When we create stories around our pain, like, I shouldn’t feel this, I’m weak, whatever it is, we resist our pain. We take something so pure that is a divine teacher and we turn it into suffering. So, when we can be present with our pain, because all pain is a sensation, all pain is sensation, and a lot of the world has a really destructive story attached to the sensation of pain which immediately puts it into the camp of suffering.

So, if we’re really just with the sensation of pain and we allow ourselves and we permission ourselves to actually just feel it through all the way through without stuffing it down, suffocating it, trying to control it, or pushing it away, then it actually alchemizes back into power. Like, every little tiny bit of pain that we experience is power, like it has so much power if we actually use it. So, the whole concept of making emotional suffering optional is teaching people the pathways of actually feeling pain and using breath as a tool to feel that pain a lot easier. So, oftentimes, people feel emotionally constipated because they’re not allowing. the energy to move through their body. They’re not allowing themselves to break down. They’re not allowing themselves to somatically get it out of their bodies, like punching pillows and like dancing it out and pushing against walls.

And you know what? When I feel if something happens, like at work, for instance, of like, I get triggered at work, I take a moment and go, okay, I’m in a state of pain right now. There’s a trigger that’s happening. And if I try and work through the trigger, everyone is going to receive that energy from me. Everyone’s going to receive the energy of annoyance or frustration or irritability. So, let me take a quick five. That’s all it takes. Let me take five minutes. Let me breathe through it. Let me process it through. Let me get curious about why did that thing trigger me. It’s not because of the email, it’s a memory from a past timeline. So, what is that?

And let me do some work on that so that I can alchemize and move that energy through because if I shove it down, try and control it, or push it away, it’s going to go into suffering. So, that whole concept is about inviting people into the idea that pain is their power. And on the other side of it is just a level of confidence and embodiment that is really potent.

Hal Elrod: As opposed to most people who are trying to avoid pain and then they’re judging it when they have it, and then, right, as opposed to actually receiving it as a gift. And then I think you used the word alchemizing it, right? Alchemizing, transmuting it into power.

Samantha Skelly: Dude, the lengths that we go to avoid pain is wild. Like, the energy that we expend trying to avoid the thing that is going to give us power is wild. It’s like we don’t want to feel unworthy, so we’re going to work our tits off 18 hours a day to not feel unworthy versus let me just go to this feeling of unworthiness and let me just heal this at the root so that the actions that I take aren’t coming from a place of lack and proving energy and trying to feel worthy. I’m already worthy. So, then the actions that I do are coming from a place of worthiness. And the energy of that is so much better because we can feel it when people are operating from that proving energy or that forcing energy or that I’m not good enough energy.

Hal Elrod: Yeah, which I think most people, most of us are. The word somatic, I brought that up earlier that I had a somatic experience during my intense breathwork session. I think our world is very obsessed with mindset. I would say that a lot of work that I do, I talk a lot about mindset. And so, I would love to hear, you talk about why somatic healing, so (a) the difference between mindset and somatic healing and why, I’ve heard you say that’s the missing link in true transformation. Unpack that.

Samantha Skelly: Yeah. So, the way that I’ve thought about it is a classic 80/20 principle.

Hal Elrod: Okay.

Samantha Skelly: I believe that 20% of the work needs to be in the mind, and then the rest of it is in the body.

Hal Elrod: Interesting.

Samantha Skelly: Now, if we change our mind without changing the energy and the trauma and the stories in the body, then we’re just going to be going on the personal development rollercoaster over and over and over and over again. And before I found breathwork, this is what I did. So, from about like 17 to 22, I was such a mindset junkie. I read all the books, I did all the things, I did all the conferences, I did all the seminars. I did everything. I couldn’t– nothing was below the neck though. Everything was up here. And so, then I got so frustrated because I’m like, why isn’t this working? What’s going on here? Like, I’m not an idiot. I’m really smart. Why can’t I get my sh*t together?

And so, when I found breathwork and I started looking really at the science of somatic healing, for those of you who are unfamiliar with that word, somatic, the root word is soma. Soma means body in Greek. So, it’s basically body-based healing. And the mind and the body work together so beautifully. So, I love doing mindset work to the sight of vision of where I want to go, the sight of thoughts of like what thoughts are congruent with where I want to go, right? That’s very much mindset work, the affirmations.

But then if we don’t get into the body and feel through all of the parts of us that are not on board with that vision, we are going to constantly sabotage ourselves and we see this all the time, right, of people getting success, and then that part of them is like, nope, you’re not good enough for that. Remember what your dad said about this? And we bring forth this timeline, this bag of trauma, which stops us from really doing the amazing things in the world. And so, mindset is great. We have to have the structure, but if we really want to create sustainable transformation, sustainable, that’s the word, not up down, up down, up down, but sustainable. We have to do somatic practices like breathwork. And the reason why I’m such an advocate for breathwork as far as an entry point for people to get into somatic work is because it’s free, it’s accessible, anyone can do it. And God gave us that gift to do it. We just forgot.

Hal Elrod: Real quick, you mentioned it’s one, what are other somatic practices? Just so people have like a spectrum of, oh, okay, man, obviously, we’ll stick with breathwork, yeah.

Samantha Skelly: There’s like somatic movement of like moving the body, even like punching pillows is a somatic experience, right? Dancing. Using the body to dance and thrash, like sometimes, I’ll just put on Jimmy Eat World the middle, like that sounds– I don’t know, this is one of my favorite songs. I’ll just like shake it out or shaking or moving or pushing against walls, anything where like the body is involved. Energetic healing. So, anyone who has ever done any energy healing or reiki or all of that stuff that’s working with the body, right? Anything that’s outside of the mind and into the body is a somatic practice.

Hal Elrod: When I simply say, I just started running again, very short runs. I don’t enjoy running. I did a marathon a long time ago. And I’m like, that’s my last thing. I’m never doing anything again. But I literally just started. My gate is probably, maybe a quarter mile, half mile from our house. And so, every day, I’m just like, I’m going to start small. I’m going to jog to the gate and I’m going to jog back. And today was day four or five, right?

But here’s my point, on my very first run, I immediately just started praying without consciously deciding I was going to pray. I just started praying and thanking God. And it was– so what you’re saying is, right, like for those that haven’t experienced somatic, and again, for me, it’s a relatively foreign-ish term. I’m not big into it, but the little glimpses I’ve had is like, oh, when you actually get into the body, it activates emotions, it activates spirituality, it activates mental clarity, right? It doesn’t happen when you’re on the couch going, how do I have a better mindset and think differently and be positive, right?

Samantha Skelly: Yes, 100%. Even something that simple, Hal, is being like, let’s just use gratitude for an example, right? The practice of like, I’m grateful for my husband, like I’m grateful for my husband, I’m just saying it, versus like taking a moment and just being like, oh, my goodness. It almost makes me emotional even doing this, like I’m so grateful for my husband. Like, whoa, like, I felt it, like I let it go out of the mind. That made me cry, because really, I’m grateful for it, yeah.

Hal Elrod: That was our real life, instantaneous case study for what we’re.

Samantha Skelly: Exactly. And so, it’s like really feeling it in your body and what this does, like gratitude is so powerful when it’s done on an energetic and body level because what that does is it just creates momentum and we just get more of what we desire, right? That’s the beautiful thing about this whole thing. It’s like, whatever we desire to have in life or attract in life, just be grateful for what you have already. Like, if you want more money, are you grateful for the $14 that you have right now, whatever it is, right?

Hal Elrod: Yeah, yeah.

Samantha Skelly: Like, really taking a moment. So, like, that’s essentially it. It’s like getting out of the mind and allowing yourself to really, truly feel the energy in your body. And for some people, the body growing up was a very unsafe place to be. Like, maybe you’re a highly sensitive person and your emotions completely overwhelmed you, so the intelligence of your body was like, we’re never doing that again and you just became extremely heady and so you overthink, overanalyze, over people please, over, over, over. So, the path of getting back into the body…

Hal Elrod: It’s me.

Samantha Skelly: Yeah, yeah. So, the journey of re-feeling needs to be titrated, meaning a little tiny bit at a time, a little tiny bit at a time, re-feeling a little tiny bit at a time, because it can be very scary for people to feel after they’ve been numb their entire life.

Hal Elrod: Yeah, I love this. I could talk to you all day. We’ll have you on again. I have one more question that I want to ask you. And it’s some immediacy for someone listening. So, if someone is listening right now and they’re feeling stuck or burnout or lost, what is one embodied somatic practice that they can do today to start coming back to themselves?

Samantha Skelly: So, the Tri-Active Breath, which is the breath that we teach in the Miracle Morning breathwork track that Hal talked about, which is, it’s a three-part breath. So, you want to breathe into the belly first, up into the chest, out through the mouth. So, continual conscious breathing for three minutes, make sure that that exhale is longer than the two inhales. What this does is that will activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which is our rest and digest. It tells the body that we’re safe. When the body feels safe, then we can be creative and embodied and feel amazing.

After three minutes, take a deep breath in through the nose, hold the breath at the top. And when you’re holding the breath at the top, invitation to squeeze your arm, squeeze your legs, like really shoot the energy up through the top of your head, this will activate the vagus nerve, which is the longest nerve in our body and it’s where our sort of spirituality and science combined in our body and it really shifts our perception of ourself in the world. So, that’s just like a really simple three-minute exercise to take you out of fear, back into love, and just really feel a little bit deeper in your body.

Hal Elrod: Amazing. And y’all, you can go into the Miracle Morning into the– what’s it called? The premium plan or whatever, you can try that for free for seven days. And that’s got the 30-minute track from Samantha. Samantha, what is the best place for people to connect with you? You’ve got the Pause Breathwork app for anyone that wants to go really deep into breathwork. You’ve got the mastermind, like what’s the best place for people to get more Samantha Skelly, because I’m going there as soon as we’re done with this conversation? I want more Samantha Skelly in my life.

Samantha Skelly: I love it. Let’s go, let’s go. The best place to hang out with me is on Instagram, so I share everything that I’m up to there, the events that I’m doing, the app. The main thing that I do is I teach people to become breathwork facilitators. So, we have a breathwork facilitator academy, and it’s a beautiful journey because it combines, it’s a spiritual and emotional journey for you for six months. And I’m also teaching you the curriculum of how to become a trauma-informed breathwork facilitator. So, that’s the main thing that I do. And I just like, we’ve certified thousands of people in 40 different countries in that method, and that’s how I’m spreading the gift of breath is through my facilitator. So, if that’s of interest to you, come over to Instagram, come say hi, and I’ll share more about that.

Hal Elrod: Amazing. And your Instagram handle is what?

Samantha Skelly: My first and last name, Samantha Skelly.

Hal Elrod: Okay. S-K-E-L-L-Y. Samantha, it was not an accident. It was a divine reconnection that you and I met in the green room at the DestinyFest. I mean, literally DestinyFest, it was a destiny moment, I mean.

Samantha Skelly: It’s so perfect.

Hal Elrod: Right? Yeah. How could you not have one of those, at least one of those of that event? So…

Samantha Skelly: Oh, perfect.

Hal Elrod: I have such positive, loving feelings towards you. I’m so grateful that we got to do this today.

Samantha Skelly: Ditto, dude. I was so grateful to run into you last week. So, so, so good. Thank you for sharing this work with your community. I appreciate you.

Hal Elrod: Yeah, I appreciate. You keep doing the work that you’re doing. It’s making such a difference. Goal achievers and members of the Miracle Morning Community, follow Samantha Skelly on Instagram and just check out all the things that she is doing. I’m so grateful for you. I’m grateful for her, and I love you so much. I’ll talk to y’all next week.

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