422: Moving From Mediocrity to Mastery

[INTRODUCTION]

Hal Elrod: Welcome to the Achieve Your Goals Podcast. This is your host, Hal Elrod, and thank you so much for being here today. I really appreciate it. I know that you have a gazillion podcasts that you could listen to, not to mention countless other things you could be doing, but you're here, you're listening. So, I'm committed to share an episode with you that is helpful, is beneficial, is possibly life-changing. And I'll tell you what it's going to be. We're talking about moving from mediocrity to mastery. And what I mean by that is moving from settling for less in key areas of your life than you want and are capable of committing to do the things that will move you in the direction of mastery on a scale of one to ten moving toward that level ten life. And today starts, it’s very organic. About six months ago, I had a realization that I was accepting mediocrity in many areas of my life. And so, I just kind of went to this organic process just off the cuff in my journal, where first I assessed on a scale of one to ten, what was my level of fulfillment in these areas? So, my marriage, as a parent, my health, my fitness, my finances, my happiness. I assessed each area and I rated myself lower than like I lean toward the low end so that I could be a) really honest with myself because here's what happens, and you can probably relate to this.

We often just go through the motions, we go through life and we don't stop to consciously, intentionally create self-awareness. Instead, we just kind of go one day after another after another and we get in these ruts, if you will. And so, I realized that this time in my life that I was in ruts in most areas of my life. So, the process I went through was, one, clarifying on a scale of one to ten, where am I? So, I could have some clarity, kind of a measurable way of looking at my life. And then I went into the why. Why? What is the reason or reasons? What are the reasons that I am settling for less than I really want? So, I got clear on the reasons, what was causing me to be at a level below where I wanted to be in my life, in areas that mattered. And then third, and most importantly, maybe once I had clarity on where I was at in these areas and what was causing it, what I was doing that wasn't ideal then it was getting clear on, okay, what are the solutions? What are the things that I can do immediately that will immediately move me from mediocrity in the direction of mastery, from the level that I'm at now toward that level 10?

And so, today I'm going to share, I start out by just reading my journal entry and it's very vulnerable. It was written just for me. And then I share my process and then I invite you to do the same. So, today is almost like a coaching session where if you were like my private coaching client, I don't coach anymore. But back in the day when I did, I would always try to leave my clients with some action that you could take that would meaningfully improve your life. And so, today is very much that. So, be prepared to not just listen but be prepared to by the end that you're going to take the same action that I took, and even during. You can actually pause if you want and take notes and write down and kind of actually as I go through my process with you, you can go through on your own or you can wait until I'm done sharing and then do it at the end of the episode, whatever's better for you.

Before we dive into this, I want to take just a minute or two to thank our sponsor, Organifi. I've been a customer of Organifi for over five years. They've been a sponsor of the show for roughly two to three years. They sponsor us because I believe in their products. If you want to improve your health, your energy, your mental clarity, and whatever type of improvement you want, if you want to improve your immune system, they have a product called Immune, which, by the way, I took a couple of weeks ago, about a month ago I guess, when I was sick, my kids got sick, then my wife got sick. It always goes in this order. Then I got sick. Well, as soon as my wife got sick, I was like, “Alright, I'm going to be next.” I took the Immune supplement from Organifi every day, three times a day, and when I got sick, my kids and wife were down for one to two weeks. I was down for two days, back to work the third day, and I really believe that that product had a big part in it. It helps. There's products for your gut health. I take their protein powder every day. Anyway, I'm a big fan. If you want to improve your health, head over to Organifi.com/Hal and then at checkout, use the code “HAL” and you'll get an additional 20% off your order as a listener of the Achieve Your Goals podcast. So, Organifi.com/Hal use the code “HAL” at checkout. You'll be all set. I hope you love their products as much as I do.

And without further ado, let's talk about this. How do we move from mediocrity accepting less than we truly want/deserve in any area of our life that's important to us to mastery in every area?

[EPISODE]

Hal Elrod: Good morning, goal, achievers, and members of the Miracle Morning community. I realize it might not be morning where you are right now at this time, at this moment that you're listening to this but it's morning somewhere so we can say good morning. Good Miracle Morning. Let's talk today about mediocrity and about mastery. You know, some of the critical feedback that I got for the Miracle Morning book and real quick side note, if you're not aware, this is the 10-year anniversary. This December 12, 2022 will be the 10-year anniversary of the first publication of the Miracle Morning, which was on 12-12-12, December 12, 2012. And so, I am updating. I've always wanted to create an updated and expanded edition that always felt so far off, though. Felt very far off that, you know, oh, one day the 10-year anniversary like that'll be cool. But I woke up January 1 this year and I went, “Oh, shoot, that's this year. I better get on that.” So, updating the book and I will tell you this, a lot of it is cringeworthy as I'm reading it. I'm like, “Oh man, I come across as so condescending in this part or I'm like really tone-deaf in this part.” So, that's actually really fun that I go, “Wow. I've grown a lot. I can make this book even better for the update.”

And the premise, by the way, the real juice is, yes, I'm rewriting the original book but not changing it too much, just polishing it and making it better. But the big part is there's going to be a part two of the book when the 10-year anniversary edition comes out. That'll be called Miracle Morning Mastery. It'll be everything that I've learned since over the last ten years and all of the questions that have come in and from you, our community, and my answers to those questions and things that I would have put in the original book if I had known what I know now, that kind of thing. So, excited for that. But again, yet quite a ways. We're what? Nine months or so off from that. Today, though, or I'm sorry, in the book, I talked about mediocrity and I said, "We all suffer from mediocrity.” This was some of the critical feedback. If you go read the critical reviews on Amazon, the one in two-star and three-star reviews, there were some that said that I called people mediocre and that I came across as arrogant or judgmental or condescending. And I took that to heart and I have made some changes to the book throughout the years, updating based on your feedback. You know, I've read all the reviews on Amazon. There are over 10,000 reviews now. I've read, literally, I think every single one, really close to it, and implemented changes to make it better, to make it more relevant and relatable for everybody.

But when I talked about mediocrity in the book, I was really clear to say that this isn't mediocrity. Saying that we all experience mediocrity, it's not a judgment because it's not comparing ourselves to somebody else. It's not saying, “Wow, they're great and I'm mediocre.” The context by which I talked about mediocrity in the book is that we all experience mediocrity compared to the best version of ourselves, right? If we were to not settle at all and we were to give our best efforts, our perfect effort every day, live to our full potential, relative to how we show up each day compared to that best version of ourselves, which most of us we've tasted that. We've had days, maybe even weeks or months or even years where it felt like, man, I'm living to my full potential. But for most of us, we're accepting mediocrity at least in certain areas of our lives or at least at certain levels. And so, again, it's not an insult. It's something that we all in that context experience that, "Yeah, I was mediocre today compared to how I could have been. I could have been more disciplined. I could have not goofed off so much. I could have not procrastinated so much. I had some goals, I had some commitments I made, and I didn't follow through. In that way, I was mediocre today.”

So, I actually wrote a journal entry. This is what inspired today's episode. I was going through my notes tab or my notes app on my phone where I record a lot of my breakthroughs because my phone's always with me. I don't always have a journal with me but I have the notes tab or the notes app, and I found this article that I wrote or not an article but a journal entry that I wrote in 2021 and it was called Self-mastery 2021. I wrote this somewhere in the middle of the year, and I titled it from accepting mediocrity to achieving mastery. And I wrote down this morning, I realized that I am settling for mediocrity in most areas of my life, happiness, marriage, physical fitness, business, intellectual growth, et cetera. By the way, this was in the middle of my sabbatical, which is so that's my excuse I guess to why I would accept mediocrity but it still was a realization I didn't feel good about. So, I wrote, whereas I used to for most of my adult life, strive to achieve a level of excellence in most areas of my life, and then I made a list of all the areas where I've really struggled in the past. I strive for excellence. I wrote in Cutco when I was a sales rep at 19 and then in my physical fitness, running an ultramarathon, and then promoting the Miracle Morning and getting the word out. You know, I really put forth the extraordinary effort.

I focused on being excellent as a husband in the past but I felt like I wasn't at the time I wrote this and I clarified that I immediately wanted to begin a process of moving from mediocrity to mastery. And I simply wrote down where I actually rated myself in each area of my life on a scale of one to ten. I find that if you can quantify something, it makes it easier to kind of grasp it. It's a real simple way of gaining clarity. So, in terms of my happiness and emotional well-being, at the time, I rated myself a six, and I wrote down the reason for that. So, by the way, I'm sharing with you this process so that you can model this, right? So, the first is categorizing. Let's take a step back. The first is writing down all the categories that you want to rate yourself in your life. If you've ever done the Wheel of Life exercise, this is a kind of a version of that. So, happiness and emotional well-being was one category. Marriage was a category for me. Parenting was a category. Health and fitness was a category. Social interaction was a category. Business/impact was a category. Financial success was a category that was kind of related to that. So, these were some of the categories that I wrote down.

And I first started by rating myself on a scale of one to ten, where am I in this area? And with the happiness and emotional well-being, I was a six. That's where I rated myself. And by the way, I heard I was given advice once that when you're rating yourself on a scale of one to ten, they've done studies where most people, they give themselves a lot of sevens, right, which is like, “Yeah. I'm doing okay, like, it could be doing better but I'm okay,” and they rate themselves a seven, and I was guilty of that all the time. And this friend suggested, "Rate yourself and do not allow yourself to - seven is not allowed. It's either a six or an eight.” And that really, it's interesting how that's kind of a gut check. And you go, “Ugh, well, am I an eight?” And if you're not an eight, you have to be a 6, right? Because it can't be a seven. You can't ride that line. And so, yeah, so this whole happiness and emotional well-being, I said, “I'm a six. I'm definitely not an eight. I'm not thriving or approaching thriving, so I'm going to go with six.” And for me, I like to rate myself lower without beating myself up versus higher because rather than make myself feel good and pat myself on the back and go, “Okay. I'm doing great.” You know, which is good sometimes if you're killing it in an area, if you're thriving, absolutely. Rate yourself where you are.

But I would rather actually rate myself lower and then look at how can I get better in this area? How can I grow in this area? I'd rather be a six striving to be an eight than to be seven and be complacent if that makes sense. So, I rated myself a six in this area of happiness and emotional well-being. I'm using this as an example. And then I wrote down the problem and then I wrote down the solution. So, the problem and in parentheses I wrote (current/mediocre level). Like, this is why I'm rating myself a six. This is why I'm not an eight or higher. And I wrote down my degree of happiness/joy that I feel lately has been relatively low because my dominant and often unconscious focus is on problems such as the state of the world, us being able to afford our house, my marriage with Ursula, not being a good enough dad for the kids, etcetera. So, I'm always carrying this subtle stress/worry, which is preventing me from feeling truly happy and experiencing true inner/psychological freedom. My psyche is standing in the way of my spirituality. So, I hope that's helpful for you. You know, that was obviously a little bit vulnerable, hard to share but that's where I was at the time. And maybe you can relate. I think most people can relate to always carrying this subtle stress/worry, which is preventing us from being truly happy and experiencing inner freedom. Right?

And then I wrote down the solution to the next level and how to get there. “I'm committed to invest time every day focusing on what I want to create and experience in my life and making that my dominant, conscious and unconscious focus. I will use daily visualization to do that. I will meditate on feeling blissful and grateful. And I will ensure that what I talk about, i.e., focus on, is in alignment with what I am committed to creating and experiencing in my life.” So, that's the formula that I'm inviting you to try for today's episode. Today's episode is just designed to get you into action, and it's getting you into action by rating yourself on a scale of one to ten in the most important areas of your life, your health, your finances, if you're a parent as a parent, if you're married as being married or you have a significant other, rating yourself in that regard, rating yourself in your finances, in your happiness, in your sense of purpose. I mean, there are no wrong or right areas. I'm just giving you some thought joggers, some examples but really choosing the areas of your life that really matter. And one way to do that is just to just ask yourself, where do I experience pain? Where do I experience feelings of guilt? Where do I experience feelings of maybe even shame? Where do I experience stress and worry?

Those typically are going to tell you areas, right, those are going to be red flags if you will of, man, these are areas I really do need to work on improving. And then I would also ask yourself the opposite, the other side of the coin, which is where do I feel really good? When I think about what aspects of my life right now do I feel like really I'm doing well in or I'm growing in, maybe I'm not doing well yet but in terms of growth, I'm doing well, right? Ask yourself those questions to come with the areas that you want to evaluate. And the objective here is to spend some time being very honest with yourself and becoming very aware of the areas of your life that are important to you and where you're at in those areas compared to where you want to be. And very often we do not become very aware. Very often we maintain a low level of self-awareness either because we don't want to face the problems, we don’t want to face the pain, the pain of mediocrity. That, for me, has been a driver throughout different parts of my life. Whether that's healthy or not, I don't know but I'll tell you, there have been times when I had my best year ever in terms of my sales career back in the day. It was because 2004, in the year 2004, I hit Hall of Fame with my company. I went to the conference. I said, “This is my last conference. I am done in sales. I am moving on to pursue my dreams of being an author and being a speaker, and in the interim, being a coach.”

And at that event, I watched the top two sales reps in our company get the highest award, right, the highest award, the highest level of performance. And when I watched that, they were friends of mine, you know, Brett and Tony. I can tell you who they are. When I watch Brett and Tony get their awards, I felt the pain of mediocrity inside of me. And when I say mediocrity, again, it's not that I was comparing myself to them. Yeah, that was part of it. Sure. I mean, obviously, they were performing at a level and I'm not. But the pain of mediocrity was not because of how I compared to them. It was because I knew I was capable of doing what they did and I knew that I was settling for less than my best. I was settling for mediocrity. I opened up my computer that day during the conference, and I wrote down something along the lines of, “I am no longer willing to settle for mediocrity. I have to give it one more year. One more year selling Cutco.” So, keep in mind, I was done like mentally and emotionally, I was checked out, and all of a sudden I had to go from being completely like, “I'm done. My last conference ever then I'm moving on to…” or, "I'm going to work harder than I ever worked before in my life for the next 12 months at something I thought I was moving on from and that I was done with.”

And the reason for that, and I want to share this because I really want you to consider if this reason resonates with you. I believe this is the universal reason. If you're looking for the reason to give it your best, give anything your best, if you're looking for a reason to work hard, if you’re looking for a reason to get up every day with purpose and passion and pour yourself into whatever it is that you're doing, I believe this is the ultimate reason. It's the reason of becoming. I wrote down, “I'm committed to having my best year ever,” and there was a specific number but that's irrelevant, “because I want to become the person that I need to be that is capable of creating everything else I want for my life.” That for me was it as I realize I'm about to leave this career, I'm about to move on knowing that I never gave it everything I had. I never committed fully to give it my all over an extended period of time. I had short bursts where I would work really hard for a couple of weeks or a month and I'd even break the company record but I had never shown that I could sustain that level of effort consistently week after week after week, month after month after month for an entire year. And I realized, “Man, if I don't do that now, if I don't commit to that now and becoming that person that has or I should say developing those abilities within myself, what makes me think the next venture I take on will be any different?”

I'll be an inconsistent keynote speaker or an inconsistent author, right? I realize that there's that phrase. I first heard it. I don't know if this originated in the book, The Secrets of the Millionaire Mind or Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker. But in that book, he said, “How you do anything is how you do everything.” I think I saw Ed Mylett post this the other day on social media. But how you do anything is how you do everything, which is if you're a disciplined person then you do everything with discipline. If you're a consistent person, then you do everything with consistency. If you are an enthusiastic person, you do just about everything with enthusiasm. But if you settle for mediocrity in one area of your life, that's likely to affect how you see yourself, how you think about things, opportunities, habits, effort, and it's likely to spill over into other areas of your life. And so, back in 2004, actually, it was February 2005 was when I went to that conference after I'd finished my, I hoped, my final year with what I thought was the final year with the company. That was what I realized was that how I've done this career, if I don't give it one more effort to give it my all, to show up as I know I'm capable of with discipline and consistency, then what makes me think I'm going to do it any different the next time? I've got to do this. I have to commit.

And so, that year I committed and I went out and I hit the goal. I joined Brett and Tony in that top level and the rest is kind of history, as they say. And then I was able to look back and realize, "Oh, my sales career in Cutco, it wasn't about selling high-quality kitchen cutlery. It wasn't about making money. It wasn't about the trips, the awards, the recognition, like the fun things that I thought I was being motivated by all the time. It was about me becoming the person that I needed to be to create everything else that I wanted for my life.” And to this day, that's what the Miracle Morning is about. The Miracle Morning is about me waking up every day with discipline and intention and purpose and focus, focusing on becoming the person that I need to be to create everything it is that I want for my life. And I think that settling for mediocrity, like I said, we all experienced that when we settle for less than our best. So, it doesn't mean we are mediocre. Not at all. It's just that like anything, you have good days and bad days, certain aspects of your life that you put more energy into. For whatever reason, it's easier or you're just driven in that area or you have an incentive. And there are certain areas of our life that we put less energy into and less effort. We settle more.

And then for some of us, how we do anything is how we do everything, so we settle for in many areas of our life. That was me for the majority of my life until I turn 19 and I got hired to sell Cutco and my mentor, Jesse, taught me all of these lessons around personal development and achieving and working hard and putting forth effort and serving other people like working not only for yourself but working to set an example for the people that you love and the people that you lead, like all of these things. The first 19 years of my life had escaped me. I settled in every area of my life. I wasn't healthy. In school, I didn't play sports. I wasn't popular. I settled in every area of my life, for the most part. You know, I'm sure there was probably an area that I'm not aware of that I did okay. But for the most part, I settled. It was how you do anything, it's how you do everything. And then when I was 19, I went, “Oh, wait, what if? What if? What if I commit to working with this mentor, Jesse Levine, that hired me?” I thought, "What if I commit to really working with him and allowing his…”

You know, I was so just enamored by Jesse's, just his confidence in his charisma and his authenticity. He wasn't your typical, well, I don't like saying typical salesperson because that's the stereotype but he wasn't who what someone would think of as a typical, I'm doing air quotes, “salesperson.” He really cared about people, really cared about people. And that's why I think he was the number one. You know, he became that year was the number one leader in the history of the company, and I was fortunate to work with him. But he taught me all of these things that to this day are still fundamental. So, when it comes to you and your life, this is about you, are there areas that you are settling? Are there areas that you want more in? Are there areas that you know deep down inside you are capable of more? And it begins, I believe, that achieving anything that you want in your life whether it's a better marriage or being a better parent or making more money or being happier, whatever it is, I believe that it begins with your identity. And that's why, for me, that one of the most fundamental affirmations is this one. I've said it to you I'm sure many times over the years, “I am just as worthy, deserving, and capable of _____,” right? Insert whatever it is that you want to change in your life, that's the blank.

I am just as worthy, deserving, and capable of achieving everything I want in my life. You can use a generic blank, right, as any other person on Earth, and I will prove it today with my actions. That second part, I added later on because I realized that you could just tell yourself, “I am just as worthy, deserving, and capable of everything I want in my life as any other person on Earth.” Then you could smile and you could sit back on the couch and turn the TV on and go, “Yeah, that feels good.” Right? So, the gut check was, “Ahem. And, yes, I am just as worthy, deserving, and capable as any other person on Earth. Ahem. And I will prove it today with my actions.” That was that. I added that part of the affirmation in because that got me going, “Oh, I better look at my schedule and make sure I'm doing things today that are enabling me to create anything that I want for my life. I better make sure I'm clear on what I want. I better have goals that are in place with what I want. I better have clarified what are the actions, the daily activities that I need to do, what I often in the Miracle Equation, in that book, I called it your predetermined process, right? What are the consistent, repetitive actions that you need to do to make more, to increase your income or maintain your income, to get in the best shape of your life, to ensure that the romance is alive in your relationship? What are the daily activities?

That second part of the affirmation, I will prove it today with my actions. That was the gut check that went, “Okay, I'm going to make sure that I'm doing the things,” because it's one thing to just feel worthy but if you're not doing the things, you're going to lose that feeling real quick. You're going to go, “Who am I kidding? I'm not doing anything.” It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy and it's circular, meaning if you feel worthy and you feel deserving and you feel capable, then you're more likely to take action but you still have to clarify the action. You still have to know what you're working toward. You have to have a North Star. You have to have something you're working towards and you have to be clear on what it is that you need to do each and every day to ensure that you get there. Where was I going with that? My son just walked up and like looked me through the door. I lost my train of thought. Anyway, so the activity I think we can keep today's podcast pretty short. What do we get? I’m probably half an hour with the intro that I'm about to record after I do the podcast.

That's my invitation for you is to do the assessment as to where you are on a scale of one to ten in the top six, eight, ten areas of your life. In fact, the Wheel of Life is I don't know who invented that but it's one of my favorite activities. I do it usually quarterly. And the Wheel of Life is where you take these eight or ten areas of your life, your health and relationships and finances and happiness and all these areas. And from the inside out, inside being a zero in the outer ring of a circle. So, imagine a circle and it's a pie, right? It's a pie with all of these areas, these eight areas of your life or ten areas. And then from the middle, you scribble in where you're out on a scale of one to ten and you color in from the inside out. And it gives you this immediate picture of how balanced your life is or out of balance and which areas you immediately should or might want to put some energy into and where you're thriving, and that you might want to maintain the level of success that you've achieved or that you are achieving in those areas. And so, in fact, if you just google Wheel of Life, you can download one. If you want to download, I created it for the Miracle Morning 30-Day Life Transformation Kit, which you can download at TMMBook.com. If you download the 30-Day Life Transformation Kit, I don't know what page it is but one of those pages. It's like a six-page or eight-page kit.

One of the pages has the Wheel of Life in there, and there's also a bunch of great other exercises that really are in alignment with what this is about, what today's episode is about. There are exercises in there where you do your Wheel of Life and then you write down what do you need to do in each area to go from where you are and move toward a level ten. You clarify what the reasons are that are supporting it, why you want to do these things, and it really gives you a big picture, a real comprehensive view of where you are, where you want to go, what you need to do to get there and why, why it's meaningful, why it's so, so, so important to you.

[CLOSING]

Hal Elrod: So, I hope this was helpful for you today. It's been helpful for me because I can tell you that all of those areas, everything I rated when I did this document probably six months ago, I don't have the date on it. I'm guesstimating. It was six months ago, some point in 2021. But when I did this document, I rated myself a six in most of these areas, and now I can honestly say that I am an eight in most of the areas and that wasn't an accident. It wasn't luck. It wasn't by chance. It was me following this process that I'm sharing with you where I rated myself in each area, identified what the problem was or what the reasons that my ratings were where they were. And then I clarified the solution. What do I need to do? What's my goal in this area? What are my daily actions in this area? What am I committed to doing to go from the rating I am at to the rating that I want to be at? And so, that is what I'm inviting you to do today. Schedule some time, come back and listen to this episode if you need to, and yeah, I think that's it. And last week I talked about perspective. That was the episode last week was how changing your perspective changes everything. And if you don't listen to that episode, of course, you can go back. It's Episode 421, available at HalElrod.com/421.

I got a lot of people saying, "Thank you for this episode. It's helpful.” So, hopefully, it's helpful for you too. But that really, I think that episode and this episode kind of go hand-in-hand because if you change your perspective, it changes the way you feel, changes what you focus on, it changes, therefore, what you can do, and then it changes your life. And what today's activity does is it gives you perspective and it takes you through a kind of a transformation or a journey of evolving perspective, meaning that you start with the perspective of, "Where am I now that I might not feel great about? I might not be happy with where I'm at now.” That's a perspective. And then you look at why you're not happy, why you're not content, why you're not satisfied, why you don't feel fulfilled in these areas of your life at this stage. That's another perspective. And as you have, you continue to consciously intentionally create these perspectives. It expands your awareness of where you are, where you want to go, what's possible, and then you create the perspective of, “Okay. What are the solutions?” And now you have an empowering perspective, “Oh, if I do these things each and every day or a few days a week or weekly, or whatever it is, I can transform this area of my life.” That's an empowering perspective. It's an exciting perspective.

So, alright, I'm going to leave you with that. If you have any questions, leave them in the comments below this episode at HalElrod.com/422. That's HalElrod.com/422 and I will make sure to reply to your comments as soon as possible. Goal achievers and members of the Miracle Morning community, I love you. I appreciate you. I hope today was valuable for you. And I will talk to you all next week.

[END]