523: Boost Your Self-Confidence and Self-Worth with Jamie Kern Lima

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Jamie Kern Lima

Feeling like you’re never enough is so common now that it’s practically a part of modern life. And it seems like no matter how much we achieve, those nagging thoughts of unworthiness can feel like they’re lurking in the shadows and waiting for the worst moment to shake your confidence even more.

Thankfully, we’ve got Jamie Kern Lima joining us today. Jamie is the NYT bestselling author of Believe IT: How to Go from Underestimated to Unstoppable, and the founder of IT Cosmetics, a company she sold to L’Oreal for $1 billion. Her new book, Worthy, takes us on a journey of transcending those limiting beliefs about our self-worth.

In today’s episode, she introduces us to her four R’s, her secret weapon against those “I’m not good enough” feelings. Using her strategy, you can navigate your way out of those feelings of unworthiness and inch toward a life of unshakeable confidence, achievement, and the readiness to face challenges head-on.



KEY TAKEAWAYS

  • We don’t become what we want. We become what we believe we’re worthy of
  • Understanding the difference between self-confidence and self-worth
  • High achievement doesn’t automatically translate to high self-worth
  • The fleeting satisfaction of pursuing material rewards
  • Getting to the point where failure and rejection don’t scare you, but empower you
  • The roadmap for unlearning the beliefs that are holding you back

 

AYG TWEETABLES

 

“Self-confidence is this house we're building in our lives but self-worth is the foundation that that house is on.”

“We don't rise to what we believe is possible. We follow what we believe we’re worthy of.”

“When you change your relationship with rejection, you change your entire life.”

 

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Rise by CURED Nutrition is a natural supplement made from CBD, Lions Mane and Ginseng (among others) that helps boost energy, performance and cognitive function. There’s no caffeine, no jitters and most importantly, no crash. Visit CuredNutrition.com/Hal and receive 20% off of your entire order. They have tons of other products as well, hopefully you’ll find something that works for you. :^)

 

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Copyright © 2024 Miracle Morning, LP and International Literary Properties LLC

Hal Elrod: Hey, welcome to the Achieve Your Goals podcast. This is your host, Hal Elrod. And today this is a really important episode. I am talking with Jaime Kern Lima, author of the brand new book, Worthy: How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life. And I want to just read this from the book. She says, “In life, you don’t sort the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self-worth in your career, relationships, friendships, and ambitions. You don’t rise to what you believe is possible. You fall to what you believe you’re worthy of. When you build your self-worth, you change your entire life.” And that’s what today’s episode is about. We are diving into concepts from her new book, Worthy.

And I want to tell you a little bit about Jamie before you listen to this episode so you know who she is, and she’s pretty extraordinary. She is an American entrepreneur, billion-dollar business success story, champion of women, philanthropists, culture shifter, and highly sought-after keynote speaker. Jamie is a New York Times bestselling author of Believe IT: How to Go from Underestimated to Unstoppable. She’s a guest teacher of the Life You Want class live with Oprah Winfrey and founder of IT Cosmetics, a company she started in her living room and grew to the largest luxury makeup brand in the country. She sold the company to L’Oreal for a $1 billion deal and became the first female CEO of a brand in its 100-plus-year history. I met her a few months back, maybe six months ago at a mastermind for authors, and she told me that she had read Miracle Morning, and we hit it off. And I was really inspired by her story.

And I’ll tell you, I received an early copy of Jamie’s book, Worthy, as I’m often fortunate to receive from other authors. And I had the interview with her that you’re about to listen to and that really got me excited for this concept because I do believe what she says that like self-worth is the foundation of our success, our fulfillment, our happiness, what we accomplish in life, and how we feel about our life and ourselves. And this is actually after I’ve started the book, I’ve decided this is the first book that I’m going to be reading with my daughter this summer. I may have told you all that I’m doing an epic summer of growth, work, and transformation with my daughter, Sophia, who’s 14 this summer. And this is the first book that we are going to read together. So, I already have two copies. She’ll read one, I’ll read one, and then we’ll discuss it chapter by chapter. So, I’m telling you, today’s episode is going to be transformative for you. It was for me.

All right. Before we dive in, I want to take just a couple of minutes to thank our two sponsors today. And they are both health-related because for me, ever since I had cancer, my highest priority in life next to family, and it’s really tied, is optimizing my physical health. And that is about nutrition and it’s about fitness. On the nutrition front, I utilize Organifi’s line of products. Organifi makes some of the highest quality whole foods supplements in the world in powder and capsule form. I take their Red Juice. They make Green Juice, which I’m allergic to one of the ingredients so I can’t take it but that’s their flagship product. And it’s basically a way where you can get all of your superfoods, all of your nutrition in a quick, easy, yummy tasting glass of juice, water, whatever you want to mix your green juice with. I use their protein powder. I use their turmeric supplement. I use their liver supplement. They have a new sleep supplement. You name it. If you want a quick, easy way to optimize your health, head over to Organifi.com/Hal. And that is spelled O-R-G-A-N-I-F-I, Organifi.com/Hal and use the discount code ‘HAL,’ my name, for 20% off your entire order.

And then last but not least, CAROL Bike. I am telling you I am loving my workouts with CAROL Bike. Today is a Monday. I had a Saturday and Sunday. I did two back-to-back workouts and I felt incredible there. Both were 12-minute workouts and you can do as short as five minutes but it utilizes REHIIT technology that stands for reduced exertion high-intensity interval training technology. And it’s one of the fastest, most effective, scientifically proven ways to get fit the fastest that you can. If you’re interested in upping your physical exercise, but you want a way to do it that’s quick and that’s efficient and it doesn’t take too much exertion, reduced exertion, head over to CAROLBike.com/Hal. Again, that is C-A-R-O-L, CAROLBike.com/Hal and use the discount code ‘HAL’ for a discount on your CAROL Bike. You need a 30-day, no-risk trial of the bike. Make sure you love it. They will drop it off. And if you don’t love it, they will pick it up. And I love mine way more than I thought I would.

All right. Without further ado, let’s talk to the one and only, Jamie Kern Lima, New York Times bestselling author, about her new book and the concepts within Worthy: How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life because, y’all, we deserve it. All right. Enjoy.

[INTERVIEW]

Hal Elrod: Jamie Kern Lima, it is so good to see you.

Jamie Kern Lima: Hal, it’s so great to see you. I’m excited to be here. Excited for this episode. Thank you for having me.

Hal Elrod: We were just talking about you and I got to actually meet at, it was called the Author for Author Mastermind at Donald Miller’s house just a couple of months ago. And I’ve watched you on social media, like many of your followers and fans, that we feel like we know you because you do show up very authentically and very vulnerably. And then when you came up to me and you said, “Miracle Morning,” I don’t remember the exact words but, “I read Miracle Morning. It changed my life or it helped me,” or something. And I was like, “Oh my gosh, that’s incredible.” So, it’s cool because you’re like the book that you… So, you’re already a New York Times bestselling author, right? That’s the pinnacle of any author, right, like being a New York Times bestselling author but now you have a brand new book. And I’m seeing this book everywhere but what I love about the book is the title is Worthy. And something that before we, I’m going to ask you a question but I’m going to make a statement first.

Affirmations are one of my favorite parts of life, right? Like, affirming, optimizing my mindset by affirming what I really know I need to think and believe. And my favorite affirmation is that, “I am just as worthy, deserving, and capable of everything I want in my life as any other person on earth.” That is my foundation. In fact, that’s in the Miracle Morning book. That’s my foundational affirmation because, to me, that is where it starts. So, with that said, being that I do believe that your feeling of self-worth is where everything starts and your book is called Worthy, you say it’s the best work of your life. Tell me why you wrote it.

Jamie Kern Lima: Oh, my goodness, I wrote it because exactly what you just said. I could not be more aligned with and I have had such huge lessons in my life. A lot of people, if they Google my story, they see, “Oh, Denny’s waitress builds a billion-dollar company,” and all the things. And while that’s true, my real story is most of my life like not believing I’m enough. And right now, 80% of women don’t believe they’re enough, 73% of men struggle with feeling inadequate and not enough. It’s a real thing. And I think, for me, Hal, I got to this kind of really wild point in my life where I thought, once I achieve enough, then I’m going to feel enough, right? Like, I kind of always felt like something’s missing like I’m not quite enough. And so, I believed what I’ll call this lie that so many of us do, which is like when I finally get that goal, whether it’s getting married and having kids or getting a certain level of my company or some type of external level of achievement, and in my case, I worked so hard building this company to a really large company and even got to the point where I felt like I had achieved so much more than I could have ever imagined that the world tells me success looks like and I had hustled so hard for it. And still when I arrived at it, it was like, “Why don’t I still feel enough?”

And I became obsessed with studying self-worth. And I realized that for every single one of us, whether it is in our businesses or our relationships, or our hopes and goals and dreams that in life, we don’t become what we want. We become what we believe we’re worthy of. And when it comes to our level of fulfillment and joy and even what we think is possible for our lives like we don’t rise to what we believe is possible. We follow what we believe we’re worthy of. We don’t soar to our level of goals and dreams. We stay stuck at the level of our self-worth in so many ways. And I have been obsessed the past few years and understanding that I have had a lot of self-confidence in my life, and a lot of us think we need more self-confidence. And while it’s really important, it’s very different than self-worth. And we so often strive for things that build more self-confidence, which is great but what we really need is self-worth because without strong self-worth that believing we are worthy of love and belonging exactly as we are, we can achieve everything in the world but we’ll still never feel enough. We’ll still not enjoy it, not feel fulfilled, and always feel like something’s missing.

And so, it’s kind of been this huge obsession. And I’m really excited because what I realize is most people in my life, even really, really, really smart people still think they’re unhappy because they just haven’t achieved enough or done enough or worked hard enough. And it’s this never-ending cycle to nowhere if you don’t also learn that foundation that you so eloquently shared in the opening of the show, which is your self-worth. I mean, that is the foundation. That is everything. And so, I’m just so passionate about this book. My first book was really my story of my journey. This book, Worthy, is packed with 20 tools on how do you truly build self-worth in your life and how it shows up when you might have confidence in all the other things but you have low self-worth. I think it’s just going to be, I mean, for me, it was just such a huge aha life-changing moment, understanding the difference, and then learning how to build my self-worth to actually be able to enjoy my life and even serve at a higher level. So, yeah.

Hal Elrod: Yeah. I mean, it’s such a fundamental truth and principle. And I think the proof of it is, I mean, to your point, you’ve achieved levels of external success beyond what 99.999% of people ever will, right? And we see it with so many celebrities, right? Or anyone who achieves this success but they’re not happy because they thought that happiness and love and joy and the internal feelings that they were chasing, they thought it would be found in the external accomplishment. And then you achieve all your goals and dreams and you’re like, “Oh, wait, I’m still me. I still don’t feel good enough. I still feel like an imposter.” Hey, it’s important for people to understand, too, that highly successful people sometimes have the biggest struggles with self-worth. And that’s why they became so successful because they needed to feel worthy so bad that they were willing to work tirelessly and hustle and grind and do whatever it took. And then, yeah, to your point, they got there and they’re like, “Oh, I didn’t work on the inside. I’m just an unworthy millionaire or I’m an unworthy celebrity. I’m an unworthy world champion, right?” Now, you just talked about self-confidence and self-worth. How would you define the difference between the two?

Jamie Kern Lima: Yes. This is, oh, my gosh, thank you for asking that because this one thing, just understanding the difference in your life and this is so big for everyone listening no matter what really matters to you most in your personal life and professional life, no matter where you’re at in your own journey. Self-confidence is, while self-confidence is an internal trait, it’s probably the thing we hear most about out in the world like, “I just need more self-confidence.” Self-confidence, while it’s an internal trait, is so much based on the external, of what’s happening around you. It’s based on your assessment of your own skills and abilities and how you feel you stack up and compare to others. It’s a reflection of your willingness to try and go for it, how much of the world’s definition of success you feel like you have, if you’re winning or losing at any moment. And your self-confidence is volatile. It’s fragile. It can fluctuate, right? The studies show the boxer that wins the fight is automatically 30% more confident and it fluctuates. And our self-worth, on the other hand, is the deep internal knowing at an identity level that you are worthy of love and belonging exactly as you are, not as you achieve, not as your wins or losses, not as your past mistakes, exactly as you are. And in so many ways, it’s like self-confidence is this house we’re building in our lives but self-worth is the foundation that that house is on.

And I think one way that maybe everyone listening to us can kind of apply the difference in their life right now is that we are taught, kind of to your point, we learn and we can learn through just society, through television commercials, through every ad we ever see in a magazine that we’re taught like, “If we finally get this thing, then we’ll be happy.” And so, for everyone to kind of imagine maybe something that you thought, “If I finally get the thing,” maybe it’s like I finally put my book out into the world or I finally get that certain job title or I finally find a partner and get married or have kids or get the six pack abs, the dream car, whatever it is, a certain bank account number. We think when I finally get that thing, then I’m going to be happy, I’m going to be fulfilled, I’m going to feel enough. And for so many of us, we work really, really hard, for some of us decades to get that thing. And then when we arrive at it, for most of us, we’re like, “Huh, we’re really happy for like maybe a month or a week or a few hours.” And before we know it, we’re back to that feeling of like, “I just don’t feel enough. I feel like something’s missing in my life.”

And what people then often do is they think, well, I’ve just got to work harder. I’ve just got to achieve more. That’s the issue. And then we work harder, harder and harder, harder, and we arrive at the next thing. And then the same thing happens. And for anybody who’s a perfectionist or an achiever, this can be like a never-ending cycle to nowhere forever. And while in that process of going after the things, we are building three things that are really important. We’re building self-confidence, doing all that. We’re often growing, which is so important. For a lot of us, we’re contributing to something greater than ourselves. Those three things are really important but while we’re building all the confidence in the world doing those things, none of them build self-worth. And that is why we arrive at them and we still don’t feel like we are enough. And the way that that can manifest in our lives is there’s a lot of people thinking like, “I just don’t feel fulfilled and I don’t know why. I think it’s my job,” so then they quit that job or, “I don’t feel fulfilled in my marriage. I don’t know why,” so then they leave that partner.

And really they don’t realize like, oh wait, first, deep down inside do an identity level, “Do I have strong self-worth?” And when we don’t, what it can look like? You can be achieving everything in the outside world and I’ve had this happen to me so many times that you can be achieving all of it but then whether you’re winning or losing or whatever, if you have low self-worth, really low self-worth, it’ll look like staying stuck and you don’t know why you’re stuck, like why you’re not putting your ideas out there in the world, why you’re not sharing that big, bold, wild, crazy idea at work, why you’re not getting back on the dating app. It could be any number of things that low self-worth will cause us to stay stuck. If we have like low to medium self-worth, we might go for the things but then in the process of them, we might sabotage them. When we have medium to high self-worth, the best case possible is you go after all the things you hope and dream for in life, and you may even achieve them but when you arrive with them, you don’t feel fulfilled. You still feel like it’s not enough and you still feel like something’s missing. So, self-worth is like the one thing that changes everything.

And it’s really why I wrote Worthy because it was a huge problem I realized I had in my life, and that I didn’t understand that self-worth is so different than self-confidence. I didn’t understand that no matter how much I achieve or how many other people I please and make happy, when I don’t believe I’m enough as I am, I’ve never felt true fulfillment. And I know that’s the case for everyone else too. So, I’m really, really excited about this.

Hal Elrod: Yeah. And I can see like the self-confidence as you’re talking about is, and I was just reading this and I forgot what book I was reading recently, but you build self-confidence by doing things, right? Meaning that if you do something, you attempt, you pursue a goal and you get a result, now, you have confidence that you can now get results when you pursue goals, right? And the difference for what I’m hearing is whereas self-worth, that’s an inside-out job. And the beauty of it is, and that’s where I’m excited. I’m excited to read your book because I struggle with this like anybody does. The beauty of it is you don’t have, unlike self-confidence where, yeah, you got to go achieve some goals and then build that confidence up, you literally I’m imagining like these 20 practices or solutions that you teach like you literally get to sit at home on your couch, right, and build your self-worth through simply shifting your paradigm and your mindset of who you really are, and that we are all just as worthy as any other human being on the planet of self-love, of self-worth, of so on and so forth.

One of the things that you mentioned earlier about sabotaging and being stuck, two things you said about that we get stuck, we sabotage. To me, two of the reasons that people do that are fear of failure and fear of rejection. And I know that you have some solutions for both of those, fear of failure, fear of rejection, how we can overcome those so that we can get unstuck. Can you talk about that?

Jamie Kern Lima: Yeah, absolutely. I love that you just called this out because this is so important. You can build self-worth literally like you don’t need to leave your couch. It was so good. And it changes everything. And before I forget to mention this, when you end up learning to truly believe you are enough exactly as you are, just as how sad is as worthy as every other human being. It doesn’t like hinder your ambition. You don’t all of a sudden just go, “Huh, okay.” You actually just become more fearless about going after the things because you’re not afraid to fail anymore. You’re not afraid to fall flat on your face. You know, that if you do, well, that might jolt your confidence for a little bit but it does not touch your self-worth. That is unshakable. So, you actually can become so much more ambitious just by sitting on your couch, learning how to build some self-worth. And all of us can do that. And, yeah, so the 20 tools, well, here’s the truth I’ll share with you because fellow author. I wrote this entire other book called When You Change Your Relationship with Rejection, You Change Your Entire Life.

And it’s just for me in building this company out of my living room, I went through years and years and years of rejections and failures, and figuring out two things. And by the way, let me hop back. I wrote this book but I would have to wait two more years for it to come out after Worthy. So, we put it. I made it Chapter 2 in Worthy. So, inside my new book, Worthy, is a Chapter 2 called When You Change Your Relationship with Rejection, You Change Your Entire Life. This one thing, even though it’s one of 20 tools, this one thing is so huge because to your point, so many of us fear, we say stuck, or we sabotage things that we’re afraid of rejection, we’re afraid of the pain of failure and that can affect our confidence. But here’s where it goes to a self-worth level. So many of us have had past mistakes, failures, rejections, things we regret, and instead of going, “Huh, I’ve been rejected so many times. I failed so many times,” we actually can let it take root at a self-worth level, an identity level where we say to ourselves sometimes without even realizing it, “I’m a failure. I’m a reject.” And that can be where it starts to really chip away at your self-worth as well.

So, in Worthy Chapter 2 called Change Your Relationship with Rejection, Change Your Life, I go deep into like there’s a framework, a four-part framework and called the four Rs where I take you through not only how to sort of become aware of what your current definition of rejection and failure is in your life because sometimes we don’t realize that we associate so much pain with rejection and failure that as human beings are wired to avoid pain at all cost and we’ll stay stuck. We won’t go for things. But then how to redefine rejection and failure in your life in a way that you truly believe the new definition of it. For one, that can be empowering, and then also how to revisit past rejections and failures because a lot of us have had so many of them and they can be from someone in our personal life who hurt us and our family who didn’t love us the way we need it. It can be from professional rejections or failures or interpersonal ones but a lot of us like hang on to them, let them stick on us like labels, and kind of define who we are. And it can feel like we’re trying to fly with lead balloons attached to our wings when it comes to our self-worth.

And so, really quickly, just to do this, in real-time with everyone who’s in your audience is if you just imagine yourself right now, okay, we’re going to do the four Rs really quickly, if that’s okay. Do we have time for that? So, I wrote this entire, literally, Hal, an entire book called When You Change a Relationship with Rejection, You Change Your Entire Life but I would have had to wait two more years for it to come out, so I put it inside Worthy. That is its own chapter, Chapter 2 in Worthy and it’s called When You Change Your Relationship With Rejection, You Change Your Entire Life. And this one tool, even there’s more than 20 tools in the book, this one tool, I’m so excited because now, after you said what you said, I’m imagining everyone sitting on the couch and when you literally learn. So, in this chapter, it is heart. One of the keys of how I took this idea in my living room, endured hundreds and hundreds of rejections and failures and didn’t let it take root at an identity or self-worth level because a lot of us, we have rejections, we have failures. They hurt our confidence but then we start to sometimes think we’re a reject or we’re a failure and it could take root at this identity level that hurts our self-worth.

A lot of us have past mistakes, past failures, past regrets, past rejections, or people maybe even in our family or our experiences in life who have hurt us. And it feels like a painful rejection or perhaps a painful failure we’ve been hanging on to for years. And a lot of those can cause us to stay stuck, can cause us to sabotage things, and think we’re unworthy of them. So, I go deep into this chapter, When You Change Your Relationship with Rejection, You Change Your Entire Life, and I go into a framework called the four Rs. And I’ll just do like a real quick overview of it.

Hal Elrod: Give us a mini-lesson.

Jamie Kern Lima: Yeah, a mini-lesson. When you get this, the book at home, and you go through this in your life, it is so powerful. And not only is it powerful for how you are going to frame and embrace anything that might bring rejection or failure in the future, but it helps to literally reframe past rejections and failures so they’re no longer like these labels stuck on you, like lead balloons on your wings, and you’re trying to fly, and so I go through how to do that. So, we’ll do this together real fast. So, everyone listening to us, everyone listening right now, if you just take a moment, you got to be very honest with yourself because a lot of us don’t even realize we’re doing this but real honest with yourself. When you imagine yourself getting rejected or failing at something, what’s the first thought that you have without thinking about it? The first thought you have when you get rejected or you failed at something?

Hal Elrod: I suck.

Jamie Kern Lima: I suck. Yeah, for me, most of my life it’s, “Yep, I’m not enough. There’s proof again, I’m not enough.” And that’s groups of people this and some of them, Hal, they’re very similar to yours, “I suck.” Some of them are a lot more brutal like, “I’m stupid. I don’t have what it takes. I should have never even tried.” So, everyone listening right now, that first thought you just had, that is your current definition of rejection or failure. And as human beings, we’re wired to avoid pain at all costs. And when we have a definition or the meaning we attach to you, rejection and failure is when that’s super painful. Like, it’s a big reason. We’re just not going to go for things. We’re not going to put ourselves out there. We’re going to stay stuck because we want to avoid that at all costs. And so, there is a season of when I was building my business out of my living room and a few years into it just was like hundreds and hundreds of rejections. I just gotten one really painful rejection from QVC. And I knew in my gut, I knew every time I would get still and meditate or pray about it, I just knew we were supposed to be on QVC.

And when we have these knowings but then like in this case, QVC says to me, “You’re not the right fit for us or our customers.” I mean, it was no after no after no. Now, eventually, Hal, we built the biggest beauty brand on QVC’s history. But at this point in time, it had been a few years of them saying no and I just got this one time where I thought it’s finally going to happen and it was the most painful no, and I didn’t know how the business was going to stay alive and I remember climbing under my covers crying, and I just decided to start googling every single person I admired in business or who has helped move humanity forward or incredible thought leaders, and every single one of them has had so many rejections and failures in their journey.

Hal Elrod: Yeah, totally.

Jamie Kern Lima: Right? They’re just the brave ones willing to keep going. Anyways, and that day was the start of these four Rs for me. I wrote out, “Oh, rejection and failure, it doesn’t mean I’m not enough,” which is what I always tell myself. It means I’m one of the brave ones willing to keep going for it. Look, I’m not going to live my life on the sidelines in regret. And I remember that day I decided every rejection, bring it. Like, it’s a victory. It means I’m one of the brave ones willing to go for it. And I started accumulating these new definitions of rejection and failure. Another one I use all the time is rejection is God’s protection. Someone could say rejection of the universe is protection. Another one you could say rejection is I’m putting in the reps. I just got another rep. I’m putting in the reps. I’m one step closer. And so, I started building this toolbox of new definitions. And every time I’d have experienced another rejection or failure, of course, my neural pathway is in our brain. They’re deep. I would be tempted instantly to go back to, “Yep, I’m not enough,” but I would catch it, intercept it, replace it with this new definition that I knew and believe in my soul to be true. And when you do that, I take you through like how to do this in a deep level in Worthy, the book. But when you write these new definitions, they have to feel true to you, true at a core level, and then you literally learn to replace them.

And so, the first R is to reveal. That’s what we did with our current definition of rejection. The second R is to redefine it. I have so many examples of this in the book of rejections and how I define them and how you can in all the different areas of your life and different failures. The third R is my favorite, though, and it’s called revisit. And this is where you really just become aware of what are those past rejections and failures that you’re hanging on to at an identity level. And just to share this one with someone who needs to hear it today is like it’s probably my favorite one that I use the most is if you’ve ever had somebody just, oh my gosh, a painful rejection, someone who just didn’t love you the way you needed or didn’t see your value or broke your heart, maybe you had a friend or a colleague or a business partner like pulled the rug out from underneath you and betray you. Maybe it’s recently you applied for a job and you wanted it so bad and you didn’t get it. When this happens to me, this is my favorite, and when I look at past things in my life, this is my favorite definition, the third R of revisit, is I literally imagine like I imagine God saying to me, “Oh, you were rejected. Like, I hid your value from them because they’re not assigned to your destiny.”

Hal Elrod: Wow. That’s profound.

Jamie Kern Lima: And I believe it. I believe it at a core level. And so, even to this day, Hal, like every one of us, we want to be invited to coffee and we’re not. We don’t know why or we didn’t get invited to the party. It doesn’t matter what it is or maybe it’s an in-law or a new friend and you just love on them and they do not like you and you don’t know why no matter what you do. Like, it could be all kinds of examples. I will literally apply this definition so that I don’t let it take root at like I’m rejected. Something’s wrong with me. I’m not enough. I’m like, “Oh, God’s hiding my value from them because they’re not assigned to my destiny.” And I believe that in my core and, over time, I can look back at all the time someone didn’t see my value, and often I could be like, “Oh, thank God they didn’t see my value,” because if I ended up with him, my life would be a hot mess or whatever it is, you know what I mean? Anyhow, I go deep into how to do that in Worthy with the four Rs, and it’s one of 20 tools. I’ve never heard that before, Hal, and I’m obsessed with your idea. You can sit on the couch and change your life.

Hal Elrod: I love it. Well, yeah, and to me, it’s so much aligned with Miracle Morning, right? Because it’s like this isn’t a book where it’s like, hey, here’s what you got to go do and how you’re going to, here’s the strategy to get out of the, you do the thing. It’s like, no, no, no. Literally, this is how you’re going to transform how you experience every moment of your life and the lens you see, your failures, your challenges. And I love that you go into the revisit where it’s like not just the ones from now on but you literally can go reframe your entire life in a way that gives you peace, makes you feel worthy and whole and deserving. And from that place of worthiness and wholeness, now, you’re like, “Oh, I can do anything.” So, I am so excited for this book. Where is the best place for people to go to get a copy?

Jamie Kern Lima: Yeah. So, you can go anywhere books are sold, Target, Amazon, anywhere that you love to shop at. And worthybook.com, you get lots of free just thank-you gifts there and I’m donating 100% of the proceeds like, literally, I’m so passionate about this because I just feel like it’s the one thing that changes everything. Like, I can’t help but imagine how people learn. And you and I have seen this transform our own lives but when people learn to believe in your self-worth like I just think about the ideas that will be birthed and shared with the world and the unhealthy relationships that will end, the businesses that will be launched, the dreams that people would go after. I’m so excited about this. And so, yeah, and it’s a gift to talk about worthy with you. And I love how closely it ties to your favorite affirmation. So, thank you so much.

Hal Elrod: Awesome. Well, thank you. And everybody listening, definitely, go get a copy of Worthy. I’ve already preordered my copy. I’m excited to receive it when it comes out, which is this week, I believe. And yeah, Jamie, thank you for taking your struggles, your challenges, how you overcame them, paying it forward, and sharing it with the world because I think this book is going to bless a lot of lives and you bless a lot of lives and you blessed mine. I love you. I appreciate you. Thank you so much for doing this interview.

Jamie Kern Lima: Thank you, Hal. Thank you, all. And right back to you. You see that in me because that’s immune to you. And I’m so grateful. So, thank you so much. Thank you.

Hal Elrod: Yeah. Thank you.

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