Have you ever found that when you need help the most, ironically, asking for help is the most difficult? Many people feel overwhelmed, ashamed, or embarrassed, and it’s those feelings that prevent us from getting help when we really need it.
Today, I’m sharing tips to help you ask for help with confidence. I’ll walk you through four simple steps to push past those nagging thoughts of bothering someone or worrying about looking weak and vulnerable.
By the end of this episode, my goal is to equip you with the tools to reach out and ask for help. On top of that, I hope you’ll realize it’s also about giving someone that loves you and cares about you an opportunity to step up and be there when you need it most.
- How your ego stunts your personal growth and connections
- The journey to change kicks off with a fresh viewpoint
- By reaching out, you’re offering other people an opportunity to shine
- Clarity often comes when you see your feelings on paper
- AI can’t replace the warmth of a human interaction
- Embrace courage and optimism and let go of fears and self-imposed barriers
THIS EPISODE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY:
Organifi makes the highest quality nutritional products, which are made from whole food ingredients (not synthetic vitamins) that I enjoy nearly every day, and have for many years. Visit Organifi.com/Hal, and use the code HAL at checkout to get 20% off of your entire order. I hope you find something there that you love! :^)
Rise by CURED Nutrition is a natural supplement made from CBD, Lions Mane and Ginseng (among others) that helps boost energy, performance and cognitive function. There’s no caffeine, no jitters and most importantly, no crash. Visit CuredNutrition.com/Hal and receive 20% off of your entire order. They have tons of other products as well, hopefully you’ll find something that works for you. :^)
- The Miracle Equation: The Two Decisions That Move Your Biggest Goals from Possible, to Probable, to Inevitable by Hal Elrod
- Miracle Morning Messengers
- Brianna Greenspan
- Josh Eidenberg
- Jon Berghoff
- Jim Rohn
- Robin Sharma
- David Hawkins
- Transcending the Levels of Consciousness: The Stairway to Enlightenment by David R. Hawkins, MD, PhD
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Hal Elrod: Hello, welcome to the Achieve Your Goals podcast. This is your host, Hal Elrod, and I’m energized today. I feel really good. I feel really good today, which isn’t always the case. Some days you feel good, some days not so much. But I feel great, feel really good. And I think you’re in for a treat today if you need help. Do you need help? I need help. I think we all need help.
Today, we’re going to talk about how to ask for help when you need it most. How to ask for help when you need it most? We can identify what are the things that prevent us from asking for help. Then I’m going to give you four steps to ask for help, to seek out help, whether you need it now or whether you need it in the future. But we all need help at any given time in our life. And sometimes, that help can be the one thing that changes our life and possibly even saves our life.
Before we dive into today’s episode, I want to thank our sponsor, Organifi, our long-time sponsor. And I want to talk about a product that I don’t talk about very often. It’s my wife’s favorite product. I’ve mentioned that, yeah, maybe a couple of times ever. But it’s Organifi’s Collagen for healthy skin, hair, and nails. Now, she puts Organifi Collagen in her coffee every day. That’s how she likes it. You might put it in a smoothie, put it in a cup of almond milk, whatever. She likes it in her coffee.
Now, it gives your body the tools to replenish and rebuild and gives you healthier hair, stronger nails, radiant skin, and much more. Now, she says it helps with her fine lines and wrinkles that she notices a measurable difference. She said also her nails are far stronger and her skin is just better overall. So, if you want some of those benefits, which is healthier skin, hair, and nails, head over to Organifi.com/Hal. That’s Organifi, O-R-G-A-N-I-F-I, Organifi.com/Hal, and use the discount code Hal, my name, H-A-L, at checkout for 20% off your order of Organifi Collagen or any of their other awesome health-improving products that we love.
And my wife, it’s funny like, she’ll be like, “Hey when’s my next thing of collagen coming? I’m almost out of collagen.” She freaks out. She loves her collagen. She notices a difference. She wants it every day. So, I hope you enjoy that product and it blesses your life along with all of their others. All right, goal achievers, let’s dive in today. How to ask for help when you need it most?
Hal Elrod: Hey, goal achievers, welcome to the podcast today. I just got back from the studio actually, recording the last session of the Miracle Morning audiobook. The book’s done, but this is called, what do they call it? A punch-in session, I think. It’s where you go in and basically, the person that listened to the audiobook and proofread it says, “Okay, there’s some errors here. This part’s not clear. He mumbled a word here.” And so, I go in and ended up taking an hour and a half.
But anyway, it’s fun. The Miracle Morning new, updated, and expanded edition, the audiobook is complete and you can preorder it, by the way. That’s part of the preorder bonuses. If you go to the new MiracleMorning.com, you can preorder the audiobook and you’ll get all the bonuses, the masterclass, the two guided meditation tracks, the sneak peeks of the Miracle Evening, the Miracle Life, and the new book. All of that is at the new MiracleMorning.com. So, you can check that out. And if you get five books or more to pay it forward and gift to people, you get five tickets to the Miracle Year Live virtual event.
So, I want to talk today about how to ask for help when you need it most. And I was asking myself, I was quieting my mind, getting in a meditative state and saying, “What do people need right now?” And what came up for me at a high level is they need help. I need help. You need help. We all need help. And I thought, “Well, what prevents us from getting the help that we need?” And you can answer that in a few different ways, like we don’t know who to ask. We don’t know where to get help.
But I think that at a really fundamental level, we don’t ask for help. And we’re either afraid of bothering someone else. I know that’s a big one for me. I don’t want to burden anybody. They’ve got their own problems. Sometimes it might be ego. I don’t want to look weak or I’m embarrassed to admit that I can’t figure this out. I should be able to figure this out.
So, whatever the reason is that you might not ask for help or you might feel like your problem is unsolvable, if you lost a limb and you’re really upset about that, talking to someone isn’t going to replace your limbs. You might feel like your problem is unsolvable. So, there’s different reasons that might be stopping you from asking for help.
And I want to take today, I’m going to share a story with you on how I finally got over some of my hang-ups around asking for help and how it was extremely helpful. I’m going to also share a story from the past on how it was transformative for me, and then I’m going to share with you some paradigm shifts in how you think about asking for help and how you think about the things that are preventing you from asking for help, from reaching out, from seeking support in the ways that you may need.
So, the story I’ll tell, first and foremost, is the recent one, and I’ve mentioned this a little bit over the last few weeks or months, but I’ve been extremely overwhelmed with the launch of this new book, The Miracle Morning updated and expanded edition. I’ve never felt so overwhelmed. In fact, probably recency bias, I’m sure I’ve been this overwhelmed or more overwhelmed in the past, right? But isn’t it whenever you’re going through it, they call that recency bias, where you’re like, “This is the worst ever,” or “It’s the best,” like, if something is great, “This is the best ever, it’s the best song, it’s the best food I’ve ever had.” This recency bias that whatever we’re experiencing now feels like either the best if it’s good or the worst if it’s bad. And it feels like it’s the most overwhelmed and stressed out I’ve ever been.
And honestly, I’ve been paralyzed with fear. So, I’ll give you some specifics. When the Miracle Morning first came out in 2012, I reached out to everybody that I knew, all of my former colleagues, all of my speaking clients, which at that time, I was a relatively new speaker with mostly colleges and such. I reached out to all of my friends, my family, I hustled because I knew the Miracle Morning was life changing and I wanted to get it out to as many people as I could.
And so, I reached out and I actually presold over 5,000 copies of the book. Now, back then, there wasn’t a preorder button on Amazon, so I literally took credit cards over the phone and put them in a spreadsheet. I wrote down how many books the person wanted, and it was anywhere from, some people were ordering five, but then I had some order 25 or 100, or I think I had multiple orders for 300 books from my speaking clients where I offered to speak for free if they bought many books.
So, anyway, I had this whole spreadsheet. I’ve been going through this, by the way, part of like getting back in touch with my roots or like the original energy when I came out of the first Miracle Morning Edition is I’ve been going back through all of the spreadsheets and the documents and the bonuses that I created way back when.
And it’s so funny, like, I don’t know if funny is the right word, but for me, it’s cool. It’s exciting to go, wow, I didn’t know what I was doing and look at how much I did, like I did, I pre-sold 5,000 copies. And so, it also made me realize that, okay, I need to be willing to not just send out an email to you, to our community. I need to be willing to go over and above. If you’re familiar with the Miracle Equation, the book that I wrote after the Miracle Morning, it’s unwavering faith and extraordinary effort. And I don’t know if I told you this, but recently, I’m reading that book right now, as weird as that sounds. I might have mentioned that a few weeks ago. I have brain damage. I can’t remember all the stuff.
But anyway, I’m reading my own book right now, The Miracle Equation, and I’m reading it because I realized I wasn’t living it. I wasn’t living the miracle equation. The miracle equation is made of two decisions – unwavering faith in yourself, in God, in the ability that you have to overcome and accomplish anything that you want. Unwavering faith. And I realized I was living with a lot of fear and a lot of self-doubt. What if, “Oh, my gosh, this isn’t going the way that I thought. I’m not as capable as I used to be. I suffer from challenges with my brain and my cognitive abilities. I can’t think straight. I’m having mental health challenges” on and on and on. And I was feeling really discouraged, and I mean, really little depression and anxiety and fear and all these things.
And I realize I’m not living the miracle equation. That first decision, unwavering faith. I need to replace fear with faith. I’ve done it before. I can do it again. And I want you to remember that, too, that whatever you’re going through right now, that in the past you’ve gone through challenges and you’ve overcome them and you can overcome whatever challenges you’re facing now. In the past, you’ve set goals and you’ve achieved them, and you can achieve any goals that you set now. And that was a big reminder. I had to rewrite my affirmations and remind myself of who I have been in my life and what I’ve done in my life, and reminding myself that, Hal, that’s who you are. You aren’t these fears, you aren’t this self-doubt, you aren’t this anxiety. These are temporary states of consciousness that I, you, we can either keep perpetuating and sustaining, or we can choose the opposite.
We’re in the middle of fear, we can choose to generate faith in the midst of fear and replace fear with faith. When we are experiencing self-doubt, we can choose consciously in writing to write out, I am capable of anything I put my mind to, right? We can replace self-doubt with confidence, with a self-belief, yeah, unwavering faith, I guess, it goes there too. And I’m sharing all this. I want you to know what I’ve been going through and I also want you to know that because part of asking for help is being vulnerable. And so, I’m trying to lead by example right now, and I’m always trying to do that. I always try to be vulnerable with you and not try to impress you. I got it all figured out. I got some stuff figured out, but I’m also human and I’m working through my own challenges. So, with all of that, I want to share with you how I ask for help and how it was transformative for me.
Now, recently with the book launch, a couple of things that happened. Number one, I was asking my team for help, asking my friends for help, asking my wife for help, and asking my previous self for help. Think about that for a second, which I was just saying, which is looking into my past and asking myself, what have I done in my past that tells me I can do what I need to do now to overcome my challenges?
And I’m actually, let me see if I can find where did I write that down? I wrote down probably my affirmations. I wrote down something along the lines of my extraordinary effort right now, which by the way, I didn’t close the loop on that. Unwavering faith is the first decision of the miracle equation. Extraordinary effort is the second decision. So, you maintain unwavering faith that you can overcome and accomplish anything that you stay committed to. And you put forth extraordinary effort for as long as it takes, no matter what your results are along the way until you get there.
And what I realize is part of my extraordinary effort that didn’t use to be so much in the past is pushing through the self-doubt, pushing through the– and I guess that was true in the past too. But again, it’s recency bias. I feel like I’ve never experienced so many mental health challenges as I do now on a daily basis. And I blame it on my chemo, I don’t know if that’s healthy or not, but I feel there’s like who I was before I did three years of chemo and I feel like I was much sharper than I am now. And then there’s who I am now after three years of poisoning my brain with chemo and I feel like– so it really discourages me and I lose my cool sometimes because I’m like, this is such– I’m so upset that I am this way now, that I don’t feel as capable as I used to be, I’m not as sharp as I used to be. So, it caused me a lot of emotional angst, if you will.
So, part of asking for help, again, not only from other people, but from my former self, and I encourage you to do the same. I encourage you to go back into your past and look for evidence from yourself when you’ve been at your best and tap into that again that if you’ve been at your best in the past, what did you do then? How did you think then? How did you talk to yourself then? How did you show up when you were at your best and realized that that version of you is still inside of you? That version of you is still available to you. That version of you is still you at your core.
And just because you’re experiencing fear or anxiety or self-doubt or mental health challenges, realize that’s not who you are. It’s not who we are. It’s just a temporary state of consciousness. And again, you can continue to perpetuate that state or you can choose different. You can choose better. You can choose to transcend limiting states of consciousness and choose empowering states of consciousness. And I encourage you to do it in writing, not just in thought. That’s why I was looking for my affirmations. And I can find them, but I don’t want to take– in fact, maybe I can look for them while I talk. I’m not very good at doing two things at once, but shoot, why not? I’ll give it a shot.
But the point being, see, I can’t. I already lost what I was talking about because I was going to go look for my affirmations. But anyway, the point is, putting it in writing. That’s what I was saying, I remember now. Put it in writing because your memories are short. And here’s the thing, right? You ever have it like, I’ll wake up sometimes and it’s such an empowering line of thought. Oh, yeah, I have an empowering perspective and I’m feeling really good. And if I don’t write it down, then what ends up happening is negative thought patterns that I might have entertained over the last few months or days or weeks or my lifetime. The negative thought patterns show up and I try to remember, gosh, dang it, what was I thinking this morning that felt empowering, that reminded me that I could overcome my challenges, that I was capable? And if you don’t write it down, which is the power of affirmations, right? If you don’t write it down, you’re liable to forget. And the negative thought patterns may prevail. They may end up being the dominant thought patterns. So, you have to, in writing, decide, this is who I am, this is what I’m capable of, this is what I’m committed to.
So, I reached out and asked for help from my team. And I want to say this, it only takes a change in perspective, a different way of looking at things. That’s essentially the first step in making any meaningful change. The first step to any change, it’s a new perspective, a new option. You go, “Oh, I didn’t think of it that way.” And if you’re having trouble giving that to yourself, that’s where asking from help for other people.
Here’s the other thing that I did. So, we are forming the Miracle Morning launch. In fact, it’s already formed. If you want to apply, I hate to– I’m recording this a week before it comes out. And so, I don’t know exactly if we’re going to be accepting people. We might be at our limit, but it can’t hurt to try. Just let me, in advance, I’m going to apologize in advance if you apply and it’s like, sorry, we’re already booked to max capacity. I know we already have 544 people that have applied and we’re planning on capping the launch team at 500 people. So, that means there’s already 44 people minimum that we might have to decline.
But if you are interested and you want to join the Miracle Morning Messengers launch team, it’s basically a group of some of those dedicated Miracle Morning practitioners that we’re going to get together. We’re going to do Zoom calls together between now and the book launch, and we’re going to brainstorm ideas on how we can impact more people. So, if you go to MiracleMorning.com/messengers, as of today, you can apply, but again, when you’re listening to this, it might be full. So, no promises, but it’s worth it. If you’re interested, you can check it out, and again, I apologize in advance if you get declined because we’re already at max capacity, but there’s a chance. So, if you want to give it a chance, go for it.
But here’s the point, I cannot tell you how inspiring it is to read through these 544 applications. And the simple question, why do you want to be a member of the Miracle Morning Messengers? And I’ll read a few in no particular order, just off the top. “I’ve benefited greatly from the Miracle Morning. I want to share the difference it’s made in my life with others.” Next, “I’ve been doing TMM for a long time and it helps me.” Next, “I want more people to experience the amazing changes I have had in my life by taking on the Miracle Morning.” Next, “Because I already tell everybody about the Miracle Morning–” and then I can’t read the rest. Next, “I love the MM and have already passed my book on and talk about it often.” And then this is my favorite, “Love all about your Miracle Morning and love your mom, friends of hers here in Tacoma.”
So, anyway, I could go on and on. There’s 544 people that are like, I want to help, I want to support. And so, that’s a recent example is I got help from Brianna Greenspan and Josh Eidenberg and Tiffany, my team, Stephanie, whose birthday is today. Happy birthday, Stephanie, if you’re listening. And that shifted my mindset. And then they empowered me to realize, hey, more people want to help you. Brianna is the best at this. Like, Hal, people want to help you. You’ve helped other people. They want to help you because I suffer from thinking I don’t want to burden people. Nobody wants to help me. I’m asking for help. I feel like I ask for help too much. I want to help other people. I don’t want to ask them for help. They’ve got their own issues, right? Just examples of how we hold ourselves back from getting the help that we need when we need it.
And I want to just share one other story from the past that changed the trajectory of my life when I asked for help. And it was, when I was, 2008, at one of the lowest points in my life, losing my house to the bank, being foreclosed on in debt, right? You know the story. And my wife said, “Sweetheart, I hate seeing you like this and I want to help you, but I don’t know how. Why don’t you call your friend Jon Berghoff? Jon’s very smart and he loves you. He’s not going to judge you. Just tell him what’s going on and see if he can help you. I’m sure he’ll want to help you.” And I was like, “You’re right. I should call Jon.”
And I had not told anybody for six months. Only my wife and, I think, my parents might have known, but I didn’t tell anybody that I was struggling because I was embarrassed and I didn’t want to burden them. And they had their own issues. In 2008, everybody’s struggling financially, right? Just like right now, people are struggling. You’re struggling. We’re all struggling in our own ways.
But I called Jon and I said, “Hey, buddy.” And I told him how bad things have gotten. And he turned me on to a Jim Rohn audio and then a quote in that audio gave me the idea to create a daily morning ritual. Then I went on a research and found six practices. And the rest is history. But if I wouldn’t have reached out to Jon Berghoff and asked for help, the Miracle Morning would probably never have been born, or maybe somebody else created it, I don’t know. Maybe the universe would have given that idea to somebody else, I don’t know. But it was asking for help that changed the trajectory of my life.
And I want to say this, again, and then I’m going to give you all a few steps that you can apply to ask for help. Number one, though, but before I give you the step, I want to remind you, remember the first step to change is a new perspective. And why don’t you think back right now? Think back in your life to times that either you’ve asked for help or maybe you were just having a conversation with someone and they said something that shifted your perspective and gave you a new possibility, a new consideration of what was possible for you.
And by the way, it also might come from reading a book or watching a video, like asking someone for help isn’t the only way to get help. I think there’s something special about it because it’s human. It allows you to be specific and here’s what I need, and then they can offer you new perspective, right? That’s different from reading a book because the book is not customizing its response to your question. However, just like the Miracle Morning has helped millions of people transform their lives. Why? Because it’s offered a new perspective. Hey, if you’re struggling in any area of your life right now, arguably the most important thing you can do is start your day in a peak state. Start your day with the SAVERS, these six practices, or any one of them that will enable you to be in a peak physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual state to grow as a person, to evolve, to become a better version of yourself, to show up better every day than you did the night before because of this morning practice, right?
This is one example of countless books where you read a book, you get a new perspective, you consider a new possibility for yourself, and you’re able to turn your life around. And yet, before that new perspective, you might have thought it was completely hopeless. You might have been thinking of ending your life because you thought there’s no point in going on, it’s never going to get any better, right? I don’t want to live without _____, without this person, without this career, without this– again, if you lost a limb, without that limb, whatever it is, like, you could be at such a low point and feel completely hopeless. And all it takes is a new perspective to completely transform the way that you feel inside and what you consider to be possible for you. You can go from being completely hopeless to totally hopeful with a new perspective.
My very first Miracle Morning, that’s why the six months of depression that had been growing and getting worse, my very first Miracle Morning, I always say my depression, it didn’t go away completely because there were still remnants of it there, but it went from like a 9 or 9.5 to a 6 because I went from being hopeless to hopeful. Wait, if I start every day like this, doing these six practices with this much energy and enthusiasm, it’s only a matter of time before I become the person that I need to be to create the life that I want. Huh? I’m not depressed anymore. I’m excited. I’m inspired. I have a new perspective.
So, think back to times in your life when a new perspective has transformed your life. Maybe it was a book you read, or maybe it was asking for help. And someone you shared with somebody where you were at, what you were going through, they said, “Have you ever thought of it this way?” or “Have you ever considered doing this or considered that the way you’re looking at things is actually causing you to feel the way you feel, but you could actually look at it differently?” Maybe the person that you feel like hates you, maybe they don’t hate you. Maybe they’re just going through their own stuff and you go, “Oh, yeah, actually, they are going through a difficult time right now. I never thought of it that way. I don’t feel so bad anymore.” A shift in perspective can transform your life. In fact, it’s one of the only things that ever does. It’s that first domino that you’ve got to proactively knock down that will lead to the next domino or the next step.
So, I’m going to give you all a few steps to ask for help. And number one, understand that people want to help. Because understand that when you let someone help you, you are giving them a gift. Think about it. How does it feel when someone reaches out to you, someone you care about and they’re hurting and they need help? And then you offer a new perspective. You offer some advice, or maybe you loan them some money, right? Whatever it is, but you help them and they say, “Oh my God, thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me. You have no idea.” And maybe they break down in tears. This means, “Thank you so much. You have no idea what you just did. You have no idea how much this helps me.” And maybe they don’t. Maybe they’re not that overly thankful.
But how does it feel when you help someone? I don’t know about you, but it feels good, right? I mean, there’s science that backs this, research that backs this, which is that it produces oxytocin, that when you help someone, not only do you make them feel good, right? There is a literal serotonin/dopamine release. Actually, they feel good that someone was willing to help them and you feel good because you helped that person. So, you can give that gift to someone else by you asking for help and giving them that opportunity to add value to your life. So, number one, understand that people want to help.
Number two, remember that when you are vulnerable, people fall in love with you. And that is a synopsis of a Robin Sharma quote, “When you are vulnerable with people, they fall in love with you.” And it’s so true. Think about when someone tries to impress you and they try to be cool and they’re tough and they don’t need help and they got it all figured out, do you feel connected to that person? There’s a magic in vulnerability where you go, “Oh, my gosh. You poor thing.” It’s human to human empathy. And it’s innate in all of us, right?
So, you see a wounded animal and you go, “Oh my God, I want to help you, you poor thing.” And it’s not a condescending mindset of you poor thing, it’s hey, you’re struggling, too. And just think about even how did you feel when I was vulnerable on the podcast earlier, right? And I wasn’t manipulating you. I just was being vulnerable. But I would imagine that when you understand that someone else is struggling, naturally, we feel inclined to help that person. We want to ease their suffering. That is a human trait, unless you’re a psychopath or a sociopath and I know there are some of those out there. When you see someone, a living creature, again, whether it’s an animal or a human being, especially human being, you want to ease their suffering.
So, understand that when you are vulnerable with people because I know a lot of us, that’s difficult, it’s difficult to be vulnerable, again, because we’re embarrassed or we don’t want to burden someone or we don’t want to seem weak or pathetic or whatever stories we tell ourselves about what we might look like when we’re vulnerable. If you’re vulnerable, and not like a whiny, pathetic way, like I’d imagine, I’m sure there’s ways of being vulnerable that it could be a total turnoff, right? You’re like, if you’re super whiny, but if you’re like, hey, do you mind if I share something? It is hard for me to share, but I need help right now, I need a friend to talk to. Can I share something with you? Of course. What’s going on? And be vulnerable and give them that gift of being able to help you. And now, those are two things to understand before you reach out.
But number three is clarify what you need help with in writing before you reach out. So, clarify what you need help with in writing before you reach out. And there’s a couple of reasons for that. Number one is it keeps you from blabbering on and on incoherently when you’re trying to ask for help. And that can be a turnoff, right? If someone’s like, get to the frickin’ point already. I don’t even know. What do you– like, you’re just complaining.
So, the clearer you are on what your request is, what you’re asking for help, the more effective that reach-out to that person is going to be. And by the way, clarifying what you need help with in writing, it could either mean you’re clarifying what you don’t want. Like, I’m really struggling with this. I don’t want this anymore. What would you do if you were in my situation, right? That’s a great way to ask for help, by the way. What would you do if you were in my situation?
Because here’s the thing, when you’re in your situation, it’s hard to think clearly, right? It’s hard to think clearly when you’re so overwhelmed or emotionally distraught based on the thing you’re struggling with. So, asking for help from someone who’s not emotionally distraught about your situation, that’s part of the power of getting an outside perspective on whatever you’re going through. So, clarifying what you need help with might mean what you don’t want or it might mean what you do want. Hey, I really want this thing, but I can’t figure it out, I’m struggling. I really want to feel more connected to my spouse or to my daughter.
I’ll give you an example, by the way. My daughter is 14, and every day, my daughter becomes one day older and every day it’s like, oh– when she turned 14, I’m like, I’ve never had a 14-year-old daughter. When she turned 13, I’ve never had a 13-year-old, right? So, I’m learning on the job. Well, my wife, thankfully, has been a 13-year-old girl and a 14-year-old girl, right? So, she is infinitely more qualified than I am to empathize what my daughter’s going through to understand it, to understand how to get through it because she made it through.
And so, I ask my wife for help all the time. And I think that it took me a while to get there because I was like, she would give me her advice, and sometimes, unsolicited. And I’m like, “No, I got it figured out,” right? And then. as my daughter’s gotten older, it’s been more and more challenging to deal with a teenager than it was, like a seven-year-old. Seven-year-old, right? She’s like, “Let’s not go through it at night.” I read her stories. Right now, it’s like, “Dad, get out of my room.” It’s different now. So, I ask my wife for help all the time and her perspective is invaluable.
So, clarify what you need help with in writing. And by the way, you can do that during your scribing process, during your Miracle Morning, right? What do you want? What don’t you want that you can ask someone for their perspective on or their help on? And by the way, depending on what you feel more comfortable with, when you ask for help, you can either say, “Hey, I could really use your help with something. Do you have a few minutes to chat?” Or “do you have 15 minutes? I really need to tell you what’s going on in my life and see if you have any thoughts.” And I mean, if the person knows you, loves you, they’re going to be there for you, of course. Yeah, you need help, of course.
But another way to ask, you might not ask for help. You might ask for their perspective. So, you might say, “Hey, I can really use your perspective on something. Do you have 5 or 10 minutes?” “Sure.” So, you utilize the language that you’re most comfortable with. And I’m always trying to be sensitive to that, that I have the language that resonates with me with anything, affirmations, you name it, setting goals. But it’s important to have language that you resonate with.
And if there are certain words that make you feel uncomfortable, yeah, you can get comfortable with those words, right? Or you can say, “Hey, here’s a different way.” Actually, instead of asking for help, I’m going to ask for someone’s perspective. And think about this, by the way, who doesn’t want to give their perspective? In fact, there’s something to consider there, right? When you ask for help, somebody might be like, “I don’t have time to– I’m busy.” But if you ask for, “Hey, I really need your perspective on something,” it’s like, “Oh, yeah, I’ll give you mine,” or your opinion. There’s another way, right? Nobody asked. Hey, can I get your opinion on something I’m going through that I think you might be able to help me with? Yeah, of course. Everybody loves to give their opinion, right? Their opinion, their perspective, or wanting to help.
So, clarify it in writing. Okay. What do you need help with? And the more clear you can be, the better. And by the way, here’s what’s interesting, of course, part of the power of scribing is when you take thoughts out of your head and you put them in writing, it forces you to articulate them at a much higher level than when they’re bouncing around in your head like a pinball, with like, “Ooh, this thought,” or “No, this thought,” or “What about this thought?” You can have countless thoughts all converging and competing with each other at the same time. But you can only write one letter at a time, one word at a time.
So, by putting in writing what you need help with, that in of itself, by the way, sometimes you might solve your own problem. Sometimes when I’m journaling, that helps me work through what I’m facing and I’m able to offer myself a new perspective because I’m also getting out of the emotions and I’m getting into my thinking, I’m writing. I’m getting into my intuition, I’m writing. So, power, there’s power when you put pen to paper.
And then step four, reach out. Reach out. And by the way, I’m going give you a few options here. You could use Google or ChatGPT. I just want to throw out options here. You can use Google or ChatGPT. In fact, ChatGPT, it’s pretty incredible. It literally harnesses everything on the Internet instantaneously. There’s pretty profound answers. Now, I do have some weird conflicting, I’m like, “I don’t like eliminating humans from the equation in anything.” I don’t even like, like I only think grocery stores that they’re talking about using self-checkout to replace human beings. I don’t like the idea of eliminating human interaction from our lives.
So, let me just make that clear. I’m not anti-AI, I’m not anti-technology. I am anti removing human beings from things, jobs that I think human beings bring a lot of value to, that AI and technology will never replace. That’s a total difference. I’m not going to go down that soapbox. But I just want to say, in fact, here’s where this is actually what I think is coming up for me. On the MiracleMorning.com homepage, Josh, on my team, who’s like the most– he’s a millennial. He’s very forward thinking. He’s always looking at how we can use technology and he put a chat bot on there. It’s in beta right now, but it’s like the Miracle Morning AI chatbot, something like that. And I didn’t even know he put it on there.
And I went on in the day, I was like, “Oh, what is this?” And I asked it a question and I was like, “Wow, that answer is amazing.” Then I asked another question, something about like the Miracle Morning, the new edition being available in Canada because that’s a question we’re getting a lot. So, I’m like, I want to see what it says. And the answer it gave was totally wrong. And I was like, “Josh, hey, take this off right away.” And he said, “Okay, hold on.” And he went and he worked with it.
And anyway, the point is, I’ve been blown away by how effective it is. And I don’t want spend too much time on this. But if you haven’t used ChatGPT or, again, Google is old school, ChatGPT, right? But if you need help, that is a place you can start. You can start by googling articles or asking ChatGPT, and yet, you can get pretty phenomenal advice. You’re missing the human element. Although if you’re reading an article written by a human, it’s there.
So, I’m going to let you decide how you’re going to reach out. And you might start by reaching out and seeing if you can figure it out on your own through Google or through ChatGPT. But remember, there is value in getting a nuanced perspective from another human being who knows you intimately. That’s one thing that you’re not getting from reading a book or googling an article or asking ChatGPT a question. You’re not getting that nuanced human interaction from someone who potentially knows you and loves you, right?
When I reached out to Brianna Greenspan, the tone of her voice, how much she cares, those are intangibles that you can’t get with technology, right? And so, you have to consider what do you need? Do you need to feel loved and nurtured and cared for? Do you want that nuanced human perspective? In fact, when I started recording this episode today, I wasn’t even thinking about asking Google or ChatGPT. That just came up for me in the midst of this conversation, if you will, this one-sided conversation where I just thought of that, right? But my initial reasoning in recording this was to gain perspective by asking another human being for help.
All right. Let’s wrap this up for today. The point is, I need help. I need help regularly, right? You need help. You need help regularly. And even when life is going well, we often can get into this illusion of everything’s great. But usually, there’s something that we’re ignoring or suppressing, etc. But whatever you need help with, have the courage to ask for it. And what just came up for me, I keep thinking I’m done, I’m almost done. The courage to ask for help.
I don’t know if you’re familiar with David Hawkins’ work. He wrote many books, but Transcending Levels of Consciousness is one of them. But he’s famous for creating the scale of consciousness, where he numerically mapped levels of consciousness, the lowest being shame. And it’s got a numeric value, an energetic value. I think it’s like, when you’re in shame, you’re– I don’t remember between, I’m not looking at it right now, but it’s like, 0 to 40 or something, and it goes all the way up to a thousand. And enlightenment is at the very top, right? Between 700 and 1,000 is enlightenment. Love is on that scale. Gratitude is on that scale. Hate is on that scale. Fear is on that scale. Courage is on that scale. And courage is at 200.
And essentially, in David Hawkins’ work, everything below 200 are what he would call negative or limiting states of consciousness. Everything above 200, those are empowering states of consciousness. Courage is where it shifts from negative to positive. And so, I just wanted to bring that up that your state of consciousness, if you’re in fear, if you’re in shame, if you’re in guilt, if you’re in hate, those states of consciousness, and nuanced wording like self-doubt, that would fit in that under 200.
But if you’re under 200, those are limiting states of consciousness. And it’s crucial that we foster states of consciousness above 200. Courage and hope and, again, I’m not looking at the scale right now, I’m going off of memory, but love. And so, having the courage to ask for help, that’s a shift in your consciousness that will enable you to transform where you’re at now into where you want to be. So, have the courage to ask for help. And if you need to start with baby steps, you can Google it. You can ask ChatGPT, but I encourage you to ask someone you love because you’re going to get nuanced and invaluable perspectives that you can’t get from technology.
All right, goal achievers and members of the Miracle Morning Community, I love you so much. I hope this has been helpful and valuable. If you want to check out the Miracle Morning launch team, give it a shot. Like I said, it may be full by now, but MiracleMorning.com/messengers has been a very special team of people that are working together to share the new book Elevate Consciousness and have a lot of fun doing it.
And then, last but not least, if you haven’t preordered the new book, you can preorder it on Audible, on Kindle, on paperback. Head over to the new MiracleMorning.com and check out all the bonuses. There are a lot of really cool bonuses that you get when you preorder one copy and even cooler bonuses when you preorder five copies and it goes on up to 10, 25, and so on.
So, have a great day, make it a great week, make it a great life. We only live one life. We might as well accept the negative, accept the things we can’t change, be at peace with them, and enjoy every possible moment of this one life that you and I have been blessed to live. Love you. Talk to you next week.