love your life

342: How to LOVE Your Life – Exactly As It Is

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Consider that every painful emotion you have ever experienced has been self-created by resisting your reality. It's never the thing we think we're upset about that's actually upsetting us. It is our resistance. When you accept reality exactly as it is, you are at peace.

Hal Elrod

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A few weeks ago, I recorded an episode of the podcast called “Freedom From Your Emotional Pain.” You can find it at HalElrod.com/338  if you haven’t listened to it yet. 

Within that episode, I shared the following quote: “Consider that every painful emotion you have ever experienced has been self-created by resisting your reality. It’s never the thing we think we’re upset about that’s actually upsetting us. It is our resistance. When you accept reality exactly as it is, you are at peace.”

This turned out to be one of the most shared episodes of the podcast I’ve had in a long time, and in addition to some very positive feedback, I also heard from a few people who were in pain and very upset about that quote. They understandably interpreted it as me meaning that our pain is our fault, when my meaning is really intended to identify and overcome the root cause of the pain itself. 

Today, in order to help clarify and expand on this message, I’m reading you a chapter from one of my all-time favorite books: Loving What Is by Byron Katie and sharing my interpretation of her message, and how I’ve personally implemented it into my life. In my opinion, Byron Katie understands better than just about anyone how to greet emotional pain with acceptance and love, and find peace within it.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

  • How to assess whether or not a painful thought is true. 
  • How to absolutely know where a painful thought is coming from – and how to turn it around. 
  • How to investigate your own thinking and what you experience when you believe a thought. 
  • How to ask yourself whether a thought (and what it does to you) is worth keeping around.

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COMMENT QUESTION: What is your big takeaway? Write it in the comments below.

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2 Comments

  1. Joshua Cortez on September 24, 2020 at 3:22 pm

    Key Takeaways from Hal Elrod’s Podcast Episode 342: How To Love Your Life – Exactly As Is It:

    – Be honest with yourself about your current situation, to deal with it instead of denying it
    – Mantra: “Can’t Change It”. Acceptance is the first step to freedom and inner peace.
    – Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional

    Byron Katie – “Loving What Is” Chapter 1 Reading:

    -All the stress that we feel is from arguing with what is
    -It is frustrating to argue with reality
    -Be aware of who’s business are you minding. We get so caught up with the worries of the world but we fail to mind our own business.
    -What we cannot control is God’s business. Trust in His ways.
    -All our emotional pain comes from own uninvestigated thoughts.
    -A thought is harmless unless we believe it. A belief is a thought that we’ve been attaching to often for years.
    -Most people thought that they are what their thoughts tell them they are.
    -You cannot always control what you think, but you can control how you think and which ones you believe, because you can have untrue thoughts
    -Self-check: You may be living a story that isn’t true. Work on your thoughts.
    -All the answers that we ever need are inside of us.

    Four question that you can ask yourself:
    1. Is it true?
    2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Validation)
    3. Who are you; What do you experience when you believe that thought?
    4. Who would you be without the thought?
    If not, then turn around and think of the opposite thought or belief and how it makes you feel. Is there a stress-free reason for me to keep this thought?

    Our challenges, our pain, are meant to be experienced one time while we experience them. Yet while we live in fear, we experience the pain of a perceived future over and over and over again.

    Always go to a place of love, of joy, of gratitude, of compassion, of empathy.

    • Hal Elrod on October 13, 2020 at 10:04 pm

      Thank you, Joshua! :^)

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